[Queen_of_the_damned]

Забегаю в Кармелит (Хайфская электричка), спрашиваю охранника, не знает ли он где находится улица Паль-ям.
"Это где?", - осведомляется он.
"В нижнем городе."- обречённо вздыхаю я, понимая, что помощи тут ждать не придётся.
"Ну тогда тебе нужно ехать вниз!",- с готовностью подсказывает он.
Да неужели?

@музыка: Dream Theater - A Rite Of Passage

Comments

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Some people compare "Ashes and snow" with the movie "Baraka", but I think they are different. "Ashes and snow", in my opinion, is about harmony of human and nature, "Baraka" is, if I remember right, about ceremonies and customs of people around the world as opposite to civilization. You can try watching this one too. It's also interesting and has Lisa Gerrard singing in some scenes. I love her, her voice is so charming that it is physical.

What do I call healthy? Well, I don't know. I'm not sure that I ever had a healthy relationship really. But I'm sure that being obsessed with anyone isn't healthy at all. I think woman should see a man as a man, as her companion, if you wish. We all have mother instincts, we are caring and comforting, but it shouldn't be THAT strong.

[Гость]

Yes, obsession is devastating condition. I even think I understand you very well in this aspect because I was (long ago, however) in absolutely desperate unanswered love. It was crazy. But as the girl said, "When I get remote from your eyes you'll see as I get remote from your heart". It perfectly worked! But may I conclude you're a passionate person? Would you define yourself so?

"Ashes", yes, I agree. It's very touching me at the current moment. I'll get "Baraka" definitely. And I know Lisa Gerard, she's a lead singer of "Dead Can Dance". I have even a history with this band. When in school (if I don't mess the dates), it was Napster, a first file sharing program, with which me and my friend got tons of music, it was like gold fever! I perfectly remember the first song of DCD we got was "Host of Seraphims". Then Napster was prosecuted, the network close and only good memories remained. Then appeared AudioGalaxy, but it was much worse than Napster. Wow, Napster, Napster!
Also, "The Mist", did you see it? It's of Stephen King, average fantastic thriller with very tragic end. With "Host of Seraphims" concluding the movie. Very strong.

I have another question to you. A friend of mine is used to say: "People do not change". Do you agree with that?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

You said before that you never loved. Now you say you did. Unanswered love is also love, isn't it?
I'm not sure if I am passionate person. I can be also very cold and unloving. But I tend to imagine things about people around me. And my imagination is unstoppable. It prevents me from seeing who I am really dealing with. And it takes some time until I realize that the person I imagined does not exist.

I know "Dead can dance" for quite a few years already. I found out about them when I found some heavy metal album called "A tribute to Dead Can Dance" and was absolutely fascinated by one song (and the voice of the singer that is not Lisa Gerrard, of course: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ac7emCRuVE
When I found how it originally sounds, I was disappointed. I tried to listen to other Dead Can Dance songs, but did not like it. I had no idea then who the hell is Lisa Gerrard. And even few years earlier a friend of mine let me listen to her and I said: "What is that damn opera? Give me rock!"
I found her again 6 or 7 years later when I watched "Ashes and snow". Remember that dance of woman with a bird? (let's not mention that I can see how the bird is looking at the trainer and the moment it receives a command and decides to react by flying towards him ). Anyway, it has this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3YiHhIcjZA . I can listen to it forever without stopping. I makes me fly.

I used to think alot about this "people do not change" thing. It is true and not true. People do change with the time. I'm different from how I was only 3 years ago. So different. But there are things that aren't change. Some features of my character that will stay no matter what. Some changes are possible, some aren't, that's it. I'm trying to avoid statements like that. Those are sentences that are trying to make you see the world in black and white. But it also has all kind of grey colors. Let alone all the other blue, red, yellow and green ones

[Гость]

Just a check for your attention. You've passed it Well, actually, I've been never loved back.
Creating idealized target for love is what I would call wishful thinking. Disappointment inevitably results. Do you agree?

Oho, Helena with her "When silence cries.." is one of the first in my top list of songs. I didn't know she was a part of other projects `cept Trail of Tears.
Don't you like opera? Many metal bands derive from opera a lot of ideas, I'd say many of them are 'heavy metal opera'.
You like "Vespers", try this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvJ7mL6zy90&feature=rel....
Do your parrots obey your commands?

I usually argue your "there are shades of gray"-statement with "There are 10 types of people: one who understand the binary and second who don't"
Can you give examples of your constant traits and those that can change?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Yes, I agree with your first paragraph. Wishful thinking, that's what it is. I should stop practicing that.
Did anyone love you without you loving back?

The link you gave me... it's nice but you can't compare it with "Vespers". Completely different energetics.
I like heavy metal with opera voices. But my problem with this genre is that I have growling. I just can't stand it! It's impossible to hear, I'm really suffering while hearing this. But there are small exceptions. For example: www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4YMs0x--fk

Well, let's say, my parrots obey my commands most of the time. Marty doesn't know many of tricks and commands, but he knows the most important ones.
Nikki obeys almost always, she's grew up to be a really good girl. In addiction she loves tricks that has no real importance. Just for fun. Not the ones that make me control her.

Traits that can change.... Well, it's all matter of studying and experience.
For example, before I moved to Haifa I was dependable, afraid of doing certain things by myself, but now I more undependable, and not afraid of them because I experienced them and nothing bad happened.
Or, for example, I was very innocent, trusting people and believing almost everything they say. After some bad experience, I became more careful.
Or maybe I was open in relationship, telling the guy what I feel without thinking twice. After bad consequences of this, I became more closed.
You can continue on and on: we are all changing so many times in so many ways in our lives. Even our tastes in music, books, food, people, hobbies are changing.

[Гость]

You hate growling but love heavy metal. What about Apocalytica? No voices at all. Something like this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=14sRksQGgts

Epica... Yes, I know them, of course. What do you think on that: www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-EdGnoZUpI

Try this, too, it's almost entirely instrumental ( I recommend 3 parties, featuring distorted guitar highly loved by me!):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1aJPEFtoNg

What were bad consequences of being open in relationships? You told him something that offended him and you were sorry?
Your tastes in music, books, food, people, hobbies are changing? That's very interesting because mine are not. At least, I don't notice these changes. It seems I was born, imprinted with all I love today and it ever-lasts. Well, maybe some degradation occurs, too, because of getting old

[Гость]

Oh, I forgot to answer your question. You see, it's subconsciousness tries to ignore it To the best of my knowledge, I've been loved by no one except my parents. Well, maybe several old ladies felt sympathy toward me. But not very explicitly.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Why, in your opinion, nobody ever loved you?

And yes, my tastes are changing, of course! In every period of life different things are interest and inspire me. But, of course, I have things that will not change: my love for animals, maybe some people I love and many other things.

I used to like Theatre of tragedy. My favorite one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oP2v05JqXU But they changed so badly, became some cheap parody of themselves.

Do you like rock operas?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Oh, and Apocalyptica sounds really good in this one. And the hairy boys are cute
I remember, I tried to listen to them before, but for some reason didn't like too much.

[Гость]

Hehe, the boys are tooo cute, imho.
Why none loved me. That's an interesting question, especially for me I think bad socialization, excessive politeness interpreted as shyness. There is positive feedback: you get remote from people, then you lose your social skills and this loss leads to even more seclusion. Another reason is physical appearance though I don't think I'm especially ugly. Or, it may be that I've never wanted to be loved. Being alone has its large advantages. You've got your own space always, the problem is you're swallowed by it from time to time, the space is too much, too huge. Especially on holidays Well, I don't care anymore. But I definitely like to have an interesting people to talk with who can inspire me, energize my life. It's very egoistic. You're a victim of this egoism
Venus is from the first album of Theater of Tragedy I heard. Cool.

[Гость]

I don't know many rock operas. Any suggestions?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Well, to be alone is an extreme that I stopped to like. To be surrounded with people all the time is also an extreme that I do not want also. The best thing is to find balance between them and have a nice life I'm working on it.
Do you have long hair?

Rock operas that I love the most (some of them are conceptual albums, but that's pretty much the same for me):
Pink Floyd "The wall"
Dream Theater "Scenes from the memory"
Andrew Lloyd Weber "Jesus Christ superstar"
Riverside "The reality dream" trilogy.
After Forever "Invisible circles"
Seventh Wonder "Mercy falls"
The Who "Tommy"

[Гость]

No, I don't have long hair. I tried sometime to grow it long, but they are curly. It becomes unmanageable, so i prefer a simple solution: cut it off

Ok, of Weber I heard of course. I have an album of After Forever "Decipher" and of course I heard of Pink Floyd's "The wall". I'll examine others.
Btw, of Pink Floyd I mostly love "High hopes".

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Mmmm, what can be more beautiful than long curly hair?

Don't have this After Forever album. I'll get it.

I had such a crazy evening!
Went to a date with some guy. He seemed really nice and intelligent and adequate. Until he got drunk. Then he started to make a moves on me. So I had to run away from him. Literally.
So I went to my favorite pub and my favorite barman made me a great cocktail and there were nice friends around me. And this drunk guy kept sending me sms', telling me how much he wants and likes me.
Anyway, think I should go to bed: I'm tired and it's really hard to concentrate on what I want to say.

[Гость]

Oh, poor boy! I can read his mind. First, he's really nice and intelligent and adequate, could you mistake? Of course he liked you. But he misinterpreted the situation. I bet he's not very experienced. I think he'll apologize. If you liked him and are not finally disgusted by his behavior, give him a sign. I think he'll be glad to restart. By the way, is not it a good feeling that someone gets drunk because of you? I think I would feel a sort of self-esteem boost if I knew I could influence people in such a drastic way. Or are you usual to this?

Late to say, but I'll do, "Have nice dreams"

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Good morning!
He apologized already. He didn't get drunk because of me. As it turned out, he intended to do that from the beginning of the evening. It was very stupid to do it with me near him. The best way to spoil everything is to get drunk and trying to hug and kiss me when I don't want it.
Anyway, it was so nice to run away from the monster to the place I love, where people I like present. Had a great night after all.

I was told yesterday that Dream Theater have a new album already. Must find it!

So, tell me, how about books? What do you like to read?

[Гость]

Excessive anything including drinking is not good. Did you excuse him?

Friedrich Engels is said to like reading dictionaries. I agree with him on this I like reading technical books.
Like sci-fi of course. I would strongly advise "A door in the wall" of G.Welles. I like S. Lem, his extraterrestial life is usually non-carbon based and this makes him special. "Solaris" is the best imo.
Bredbery, Azimov, Hiehline, Clark.
I like Nabokov, especially "Obscure camera". J.London is good. I liked A.Duma very much time ago. M.Reid.
I loved Andjey Sapkovskij and Ursula Le Guine for fantasy. King is not bad sometimes, his half-autobiographic "The corpse" was very impressive, I remember.
Oruwell is exceptionally nice.
Do you want me to read anything good?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Yes, I excused him. But if he will dare to do that again....

You have a good taste in reading I used to love sci-fi. I still do. Just trying to put some classics in between sometimes. And King is my number one favorite!
Ill think about some books to recommend you when ill be less tired.

[Гость]

What should the guy have said to convince you he was not a monster and persuade you to meet him again (you meet him again as I understood)?

Waiting impatiently for the list!

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Well, I talked to him sober, that's all. When he isn't drunk, he can be a really good company.
And it turned out that he was studying at university with my very very close friend. I talked to her yesterday, she said that overall he is a nice guy.

Forgot to think about the list. Try "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey. Love it!
Do you read in Russian?

[Гость]

So you're not a resentful person? What does make 'a really good company' for you?

One item comprises a list, too. A short one, however Sounds cool, thanks!

I do sometimes

[Queen_of_the_damned]

No, I'm not resentful at all.

You know, I keep thinking about what you told me week ago. That you think you've hurt me. Why do you think that?

[Гость]

Then I corrected. I said that the word 'hurt' was inapplicable for such a situation. I don't think I hurt you.

[Гость]

Though I would like to be in power to cause some kind of emotional movements in your heart, poetically saying

[Queen_of_the_damned]

No, I asked you "did I hurt you in some way, or did you hurt me?" and you said "I think I did"

So did I hurt you? Why did we stop seeing each other in real life?

[Гость]

Yes, I said I did and then corrected it by giving a mosquito example
Because you wanted it to stop.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Did I tell you that i wanted it to stop? Literally tell you?

[Гость]

That's it.
But we can communicate here, you see. I'll harvest good things from you virtually

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Just one question: does your name begins with "K"?

[Гость]

No. It's not K. I didn't think there were so many people that resemble my style. It's reassuring

Let's continue undetermined.