[Queen_of_the_damned]

Забегаю в Кармелит (Хайфская электричка), спрашиваю охранника, не знает ли он где находится улица Паль-ям.
"Это где?", - осведомляется он.
"В нижнем городе."- обречённо вздыхаю я, понимая, что помощи тут ждать не придётся.
"Ну тогда тебе нужно ехать вниз!",- с готовностью подсказывает он.
Да неужели?

@музыка: Dream Theater - A Rite Of Passage

Comments

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Why do you think that I dislike you? Did you ever hurt me? Or did I ever said something bad to you? Insulted you in some way?

[Гость]

I assume I did.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

So I did like you, right? Because the one I don't care about can't hurt me.

[Гость]

I don't know. I think we were on the wave. That's what is not frequent.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

When did everything happened? This on the wave thing.

[Гость]

You have not guessed, yet?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Not yet. That "on the same wave thing" happened to me more than once. And I used it to explain things to many people.
Is your name starts from the letter "M"? Just a wild guess....

[Гость]

) No. Well, I'm not so bad in masquerading. It's good. Anyway, it seems you've changed your tone.

[Гость]

Did you see "Astroboy". It's an animated movie. About losing identity.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

My curiosity made me change it.
I really really like you.
I don't want to spoil it. So I'll try to stop those questions.
Can you promise me one thing? That one day you will tell me who you are. That in the end I will find out. If you'll promise me this, I will be able to calm down and enjoy our talking fully.
But if you promise, you have to keep the promise one day, sooner or later. Can you do that?

Sorry, time to go to Tel Aviv to milonga. Tango all night long

[Гость]

I'll tell you one day.

Have a good time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X84D01da35E&feature=wat...

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Ok, you promised.
Although, it's not so smart of me to trust your word. I mean, obviously, some things you told me aren't true: I don't know anyone that fits all that data at the same time. But I know many that fit different parts of it.

I did not see "Astroboy". Why?

About two last links that you gave me... not my kind of music, feel nothing listening to it. Do you know something that has that porcupine tree mood/energy? That's the thing that works best for me these days.

[Гость]

The data is true. I think I left no traces in your memory. It's all a matter of scale. It's like a bite of a mosquito to an elephant.
I know you don't like such. It was not for you, it was a mark for me

[Гость]

"Astroboy" is childish. I advise "The reader", it's better I think.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

So, you think you've hurt me, but it didn't leave a trace in my memory? Hm... Makes no sense to me.

I know you don't like such. It was not for you, it was a mark for me

What do you mean? What was not for me?

"The reader" is in my collection. Saw it and read the book.

[Гость]

Pain? Probably not. Annoying bite maybe.
I know you don't like such music. I signed the page with the link for me myself
What do you like in the movie? I was deeply touched by a picture of Hanna. She preferred prison over discovering her weakness, the one she was in-normally ashamed of. This shame was so powerful she could not solve the problem till she was in the jail. She could ask the kid to teach her but she didn't. She ran her punishment, suddenly a hope came with the tapes, she overcame the shame and learn to read. And standing to get free she uses these books of which she had hoped so much all her life to hang herself. It's requiem for a dream.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Annoying bite? It seems to me that I made you feel bad in some way.
Why did we lose contact in real life?

What I like in "Reader" is how plain and naive Hanna is. She participated in awful things but she doesn't really think about that, never trying to analize. It seems normal to her, and never bothering at all. This is what amazes me.
And the love story where two people in the couple are so different and unequal is really attractive to me.

[Гость]

There was no much contact. Further details are prone to break the entire mystery. I'm saying you'll be disappointed, I don't want it.

These are good points. I understand the boy, first encounter makes the strongest impression. What moved the woman?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

That's easy. Loneliness moved her. Maybe some mother instinct also. You will be surprised how it can combine with sexual desire sometimes to make both stronger.

How did you find my diary? How did you know that this is me? Did you look for it intentionally?

Watch "Ashes and snow". But download it in a very very good quality. The best you can find. Every shot there is absolutely beautiful. Like a perfect picture. Do you like taking pictures?

[Гость]

Hm, very fitting explanation. Really, she had no children. I didn't think of this.

Oh, it's easy Knowledge of several facts about you lead to this place straightforward. Yes, I tried to find you online. And anonymous, exactly as now. But I start to think it was not so bright idea, it seems it distresses you too much. It's really not my intention.

I'll watch it tonight.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Distresses me? Not at all! I like you being here. No matter who you are. Don't really know why. Maybe I like the fact that you are mysterious and can be anyone. So my imagination can do whatever it wants with it.

I know those facts... my parrots. Not everyone has Nikki and Marty, right? If you google it, you will probably find my diary.

About Hanna - it doesn't matter if she had children or not. I can't explain it really, you have to be a woman and feel it, I guess.

What zodiac sign are you?

[Гость]

Then it's encouraging. That's actually the thought I had. Why not to get fun of spy game? It can entertain you, you'll think of this when going to your dancing, it may even disturb you to read

Yes, your pets make you different. On search engines, I mean. You're different in other ways, too

Did you feel this combination of instincts sometime?

I'm born on January. It's capricorn I think. But you don't believe in stars, do you?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

No, I don't believe in stars
And you didn't answer my question: do you like taking pictures?

And yes, I had this combination of instincts. Twice. It's very dangerous. It makes you refer (hope it's the right word) the person differently. You know that it's not love but can't throw him out of your mind. Some kind of obsession that is very hard to get rid of.

[Гость]

You mean photography? Playing with lights and scene? I've got zero experience in this. Moreover, I have had no camera till recently
But I like white-black ones. And microphotography, something like www.nano-reef.com/gallery/data/500/medium/SEM_d... (don't get afraid!)
When a child I saw (in a scientific journal) artistically processed microphotographies of ascorbic acid crystals, they were colorful, black-yellow-red palette, and looked as a galaxy: stars, clouds of dust, black hole in the center. Since then I like micro-things, small, concentrated, the invisible worlds. I mean molecules, small scale attracts me more than cosmically large planets. Well, probably not relevant associative series, that's it Do you do photos?

So, you felt your love diminished but mother instinct prevented you from throwing him away? Was it a pity? Did you feel parental responsibility for him?

[Гость]

I want ask you, what associations do you have if any looking at a plasma ball? like this www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YFEMwtgpqY

[Queen_of_the_damned]

The first link isn't working. Plasma ball on the second, well, these always remind me a witches ball. The ones they are using to look into other people's lives. What is your association?
I don't do photos. But I do like black and white old pictures. My grandfather was a photographer, and I have few of his old pictures of myself and family. I really like them. But I never really knew him - he died when I was 5.

Where did you see me talking about love? I was talking about mother instinct combined with sexual desire. It has nothing to do with the guy I loved. You started guessing things.

[Гость]

Try this
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1318795...

I have no photos of me with my family when i was a child. I think it's strange enough that my parents didn't care about it. Probably they liked conspiracy

I thought of plasma ball as a symbol for instability, uncertainty. It's pretty direct linkage because the lightnings are chaotic. That's the first association and probably most characteristic. On the other side, the discharges are like tentacles, sensors trying to observe the environment, may represent the mind of a researcher or just curious person. This depends on the rate of the discharges, the slow ones represent more accurate, calm person; faster ones are nervous, a person in zeitnot feverishly searching for solution.


Oh, I'm sorry. But can you explain how the combination was felt by you. Where did exactly the maternal instinct stand?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

What do you mean "WHERE did it stand?". It made me "obsessed" about the person, that's all. I wanted to be near him, I wanted him, and at every sign of him feeling sad or bad I felt the huge will to hug and protect him and make him feel better. That's not too healthy thing I think

That's a very nice analysis of the plasma ball I feel so primitive now - those things would never come to my mind.

I saw these pictures before. Those are amazing. Really great material for imagination. Too bad, the colors aren't real.

So, did you see "Ashes and snow"?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

And did you hear this one? :
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BClzBQmZZBc

[Гость]

Ok, that's what I wanted to hear. So "wanted him" belongs to sexual desire and "to hug and protect him and make him feel better" belongs to maternal instinct, am I right? Hence my question: how do you think it should be healthy?

Thanks. I think there's no grades in the game of associations. In fact, I thought my look on the ball was trivial. I was taking a walk yesterday when the question "What can best reflect my current mind state?" bubbled up the plasma lightnings
Colors are never real, depend on many conditions like transmission medium or source light. What color does the Moon have? I saw it red today at about 19:00, is it true?

Yes, I saw. It's not only beautiful but exceptionally inspirational. I will it see it today again. Looking for a hidden messages for me
Do you know other jewels similar to "Ashes"?