[Queen_of_the_damned]

Забегаю в Кармелит (Хайфская электричка), спрашиваю охранника, не знает ли он где находится улица Паль-ям.
"Это где?", - осведомляется он.
"В нижнем городе."- обречённо вздыхаю я, понимая, что помощи тут ждать не придётся.
"Ну тогда тебе нужно ехать вниз!",- с готовностью подсказывает он.
Да неужели?

@музыка: Dream Theater - A Rite Of Passage

Comments

[Гость]

Let me start from the end. You cannot know for sure I'm from Israel. I do know you're from Israel and to trick you into thinking I'm your neighbor I just use any of israeli proxies. Couldn't it be the case?

I can't tell. It's "Beauty and the beast" scenario.

I understand written thoughts are more ordered. But you publish them. You share your personal feelings, impressions, reactions to different situations with all the bored people around the world. It's not names, but it's your personality, it's sort of confessio. Do you expect some response, advice? Or is it real exhibitionism such that you are enjoyed to be looked at? And again, excuse me if the questions make you feel uncomfortable.

p.s. Probably mu jobs is going to move from office to a more active place.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Well, we are all revealing parts of our personalities every day in real life, don't we? We react on things and talk to people, real people - isn't that dangerous? Here online no one knows who I am, so why not? It's part of the game that makes it interesting, isn't it? And I can see that you just love those games of being mysterious anonymous guy
My personality is only one of thousands personalities on this site. I don't think it's is so special, I really doubt that many people are reading all that. And if they do, fine. Getting a response is nice, but I don't get many of them really. And that doesn't bother me.
Maybe it's a sort of confession, who knows, but I think that in confessions people reveal much more personal information. Why does it bother you so much?

I don't really see the "beauty and the beast" scenario. Where do you see it?

What is your job if I'm allowed to ask?

[Гость]

I always wonder what makes people to share their photos, desires, works, children, travel places etc. on the social networks. It really astonishes me. "Here I am and the X-mountain on the background"-sort of messages get me into laugh

"BaTB" maybe not the best parallel, the implication was that "the mist of secrecy" may fuel our conversation. If I drop my niqab you may lose your interest
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PudnlreZ-tM


My job is a kind of scientific research.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Thanks, I really enjoyed the music

You don't need to wonder why people do that - you explained it yourself very well: some kind of exhibitionism... after long thinking about that I decided it may be not so far from the truth.
But what makes many other people read it? Why YOU reading it and find it interesting?
Don't you think it's some kind of symbiosis between those who write it all and those who read it? So everyone's happy

Why would i lose my interest? You seem like an interesting person. And if I don't know you in real life, that would be very interesting to know you. Well, even if I do know you, that would be interesting to know you more
Although, I must admit, the fact that I have no idea who you are really warms up my interest.

What is your research about?

[Гость]

Oh, I'm fascinated by reading letters that are not for my eyes! I have a firm explanation for this fetish: it's kind of power over the one from whom you steal the information; it may be used to manipulate him(her). And people like to be powerful... Well, everyone in his own way. Take a look on this blog, biowonders.wordpress.com/, all these creatures give me such an inspiration!

I think I should remain unveiled to warm you up Maybe you will reveal later.

My research is on the properties of a certain substance; let's say the project is in the material science boundaries.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

You just brought to me one memory from my childhood: once I stole a letter from neighbor's mail box and read it. It felt nice at the beginning, but then I realized that I have no idea who are all these people that the guy who wrote it was talking about and in the end I lost interest. People are just people. It's our imagination that makes them, or things they do, so special and fascinating.
But blogs... well, those aren't letters "not for your eyes". Those are open - read them as much as you wish. You don't still information here, it is provided to you. They can't satisfy you, I think. My blog is also open to anyone, so why do you like it? Are you planning to use the information in it to manipulate me?

Did you ever manipulate anyone using their secret information?

Some of those videos are impressive, I must say. Lectures about parasites, viruses, bacterias and so on were very interesting for me in the university.
Just a little observation: parasites don't usually attack and manipulate species of their own kinds. Humans do.
Can you tell me more about your research?

[Гость]

A single and random sample is obviously not interesting. Only when you discover a pattern in a seemingly random data set, the things turn to be interesting.
People are people, ya www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DU9vfK_bl4o8
I will not manipulate you more than I do I like you. Distantly.

Using secret information is simple. The attack may be based on impersonation. An example scheme is as follows. A person assumes only trusted people have an access to the secret information. Therefore, he trusts messages coming from anyone who displays the secret information.

That's because humans are not of the same species

The research is take a polymer and "torture" it until it shows you its secrets!

[Queen_of_the_damned]

"Using secret information is simple. The attack may be based on impersonation. An example scheme is as follows. A person assumes only trusted people have an access to the secret information. Therefore, he trusts messages coming from anyone who displays the secret information."

Please, explain. My tired brain doesn't get it.

So, what kind of specie you are? The one who only answering questions that he likes and ignores all the others?

Does my diary goes together with the pattern you discovered while reading hundreds of diaries, or is it different?

[Гость]

All your questions are equally weighted and none is ignored. Your blog is as different as you are. And you are special

Can you be tired? I don't believe, you're always sharp. So, a concrete example, perhaps a little artificial. Suppose you sent an email to your girl friend [e-mail] telling her "I'm in love with a boy X". That's only your girl friend who's supposed to know. Now you receive email from [e-mail] with something like "Oh, I know this boy; look at the files attached and you'll know all about him; don't take risks". There are high chances you will open the files even if the source of the mail is yahoo.co.il and not original yahoo.com. You think the email is from your girlfriend because the sender knows about your secret information and you conclude the sender is your girlfriend (because only she knows about your love) though the email is not original. You might think "Ok, probably my girlfriend has another email that I don't know of. But the sender knows X, therefore that may be only my girlfriend".
The attacker (as you understood, being [e-mail]) was able to intercept your message in between. He could not break neither into your email, nor into your girlfriend's but he was able to get the message somehow. And this simple fact give him a chance to impersonate your girlfriend and send you malicious files you will open with high probability (opening the files concludes the attack).
You may ask how all this is connected to blogs, social networks and like. It's very connected because in your posts you may leak some information that can be later composed to make you think it comes from a trusted source. That's not an easy task, but sometimes yields results.

[Гость]

I wanted to ask you, what do you think about "Fake it till you make it"? This is supposed to mean that if you imitate "it", this "it" may finally come true. Say, you imitate being the best dancer in the world, and in the end you do become such a dancer. Or, on the other side, you imitate loneliness and finally you become lone. Does it sound to you?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Oh, that sound to me very much. Not the example about dancer, because you can't change the world around you. But you can change your own world - the one that is in your head. Or your perception of it.
I don't know if you remember me saying before that some things become true only after I'm writing them down. I think it's the best example of it. And on the other side, if I never said something, even to myself, it is not happening. For example, until I say "I love him" or "I'm having a bad day" or "I'm so tired", things are ok, but after I'm saying that, they change. I noticed that not such a long time ago, really, so I'm trying to be careful with those things and say them only if I have no doubt that I do "love him", "tired" or "having a bad day". And trying to be positive, even though it's very hard for me.

So, do you practice things that you had in your example? Or something like that?

... my questions are weighted but not answered?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

And to your example with "alice": what kind of results can the attacker achieve? So I'll open the file. What can be in it?
For purposes like that, I guess, my blog has enough of information. But now I'm aware of that kind of threat, right? How else can the information here be used?
And again: we are giving out information about ourselves all the time in real life. Someone can always hear your conversations, or find out where you live, or in some way get some information about you from your closest friends and family. And that information can be used in even more dangerous way. So if you compare the information here to that in real life, this blog seems like a very safe thing.

[Гость]

You are a strong girl. I think otherwise you could not do your work. I suppose it requires a lot of patience. Do you have a mantra for being positive? What's your secret? What does drive you in life? Hope? Love?

Practice... It's not my professional realm, so I don't have much time for this. But I taste this sometimes It can be really sweet.

If I didn't answer your question, it's certainly I just missed it. What didn't I answer?

I don't want to frighten you or cause you to stop blogging. Just as you said be aware of threats. Most people are not. I didn't think about exploitation of your blog information. Probably, one will need some additional knowledge about you plus a wish to target you. All you said about real life is correct, but one needs to be a detective in real life to spy on you. In internet its much more easy, you can be glued to your chair and move only tips of your fingers to trick someone. Files.. Well, if they are executable programs they may be any thing, probably they'll be some RAT (remote administration tool) that enables a penetrator to play with your computer as he wants. It may be just advertising program, that makes clicks on remote banner from your Ip and the attacker gets money from this. Also, your zobie computer may be used to attack another computers, what is called denial of service attack (DoS).

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Oh, so that's what those DoS attacks mean!

I don't have any mantras. At least, nothing comes to my mind right now except "it's ok" that I am whispering to myself to calm myself down when I'm worrying too much. That's the most boring mantra in the world
At different times different things driving me in life. Love, of course, is a very strong thing, but I don't have it right now. Hope... who knows. But what usually drives me is fear. I afraid that if I will not do this and that, things will get very bad and I'll suffer. That's what makes me do my job and wake up early in the morning and deal with lot's of things that I hate to deal with (you have to swim if you don't want to drawn). Love can help a lot and give energy, but fear is the strongest driver.
What drives you?

I don't remember all the questions you did not answer, and I'm too lazy to look for them. I only remember that you said that humans are not of same species and I asked you what kind of specie you are.
Also questions about you - you are very sneaky when it comes to this. Never feeding my curiosity. And I want to know something about you. At least how old are you and where are you, at least the country... And I would like you to name yourself anyhow: I don't like to think of you as some anonymous guest (I would prefer your real name, but I'm sure you will never tell me).

[Гость]

I'm of your age, approximately. Let's say I'm Alex (or John Smith).

Your last record is very impressive. You said you don't want to talk about it. Can you tell what was a cause of the break? Sorry for heartlessness, I never felt love.

[Гость]

By the way
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTaDJDwuv84

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Alex?! Are you kidding me? You know how many Alex's there are in my life right now? I'm tired of counting. Can you pick something that sounds more like a name? Unless Alex is your real one.
How do you know my age?

My last record is about relationship that ended 4 or 5 years ago. The cause of break was me. I felt one day that the love is gone and I want to move on. So I did. We stayed close friends for few years after that, but he was, of course, hurt and angry. I think if you'll look in this diary you may find his comments - guest that speaks to me with no respect, trying to insult me. But it's is ok.
Now he is married and has a little son. I really hope he is happy.

Nice music by the way. Really good for this morning.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

And still you didn't say where are you. I promise, I will not go out looking for you

And also you did not answered: what drives you?

[Гость]

You know, if anyone doesn't want to disclose his name he calls himself John Smith in USA; Alex in Israel. That's a point- they are too numerous
Ok, so let's call me Victor.
You've mentioned your age somewhere in this diary.
How can you know that love has gone? Is it binary, Yes-No trigger?
My drive. Well, I thought I'd answered you. It was my fantasy. Oops. Well, the answer comes. My drive has radically changed recently. It's not fear, though it grips me sometimes uneasily. With the reasons like yours, I assume. To relieve the fear I call fatalism as a sedative: nothing to lose, nothing to fear. I've decided to harness money to drive my life from now on. It's the time, I think. Sad but true.
All right, my first crack, I'm from Israel, your initial guess was correct.

[Queen_of_the_damned]

Yes, I know about John Smith and Alex. Those aren't names. That's why I don't like your answer.
Victor... always hated that name. Even though it's the male version of my own.

Money... what a sad drive. Well, fear is even saddest, I guess. We are both so pathetic!

Of course you can know that love is gone. You just don't feel it anymore. It doesn't happens in one day. It takes time. But eventually you realize that you want to move on.

I had no doubt you are from Israel Call it intuition. I checked the statistics too early, before you even started to play your game. I never believed that you thought about that option at that point.
Well, are you in Haifa? It's really interesting... maybe I've met you before. Somewhere. Maybe even passed near you on the street. If you told me the truth about your job, then, I guess, I don't know you in real life - can't think of any scientist that I know. Well, not with your taste in music and personality at least.

[Гость]

I know about stats, I even write my own hit counters with better stats than are usually provided by hosts. But you cannot be sure about the location, i can easily stream all my traffic through isreali proxy to prevent any accidental leakage of the real IP.
So, Victoria, you don't like Victors. Are there any negative connotations with this name except your own?
Ya, to be a businessman was never in my childhood dreams. But you grow up and change. And to survive is to adapt. So that's all objective I think. I hope.
What do you think about my taste in music and personality?

Do you like rain?

[Queen_of_the_damned]

I cannot be sure about location, but still, I just knew you are here. Women have this kind of intuition :P

There's no negative connotations with name Victor. It just sounds bad to me. Can't explain why, it's weird to me too. And I really like my name. So, what's yours?

I like your taste in music. Well, some of it. Some links that you gave me are actually good. And it is hard to satisfy me in music. I downloaded the whole Ephemeral Mists album to see if I'll like it, but was disappointed. And you like Porcupine Tree, which is my number one favorite these days. What else do you listen?
I also like your personality. I'm bored with boring people around me all the time, who speak about TV shows, work, money and other boring stuff, not thinking much. Like zombies. I'm afraid to become one of them. Also, by your personality, you remind me a friend of mine. To be honest, until not so long ago I was 95% sure that you are him. You think alike and you are talking about same things in same way. There is still a little chance that you are him Depends on how much truth you told me and how many details of your life that you told me are imaginary.

I like rain. But for me to enjoy it there must be one of two conditions: I'm sitting at home and don't have to go out anywhere or I'm out but there's no wind at all. When I was little we had rain at summer, that was really nice to walk in it. Too bad, in Israel it's always cold while raining. I hate standing in the rain at winter. I hate cold.
I guess, you like rain if you asked

So, what was in your childhood dreams?
Wait, you said you are scientist, now you are a businessman... Hm.....

[Гость]

It's really interesting.
I like your name, too. First, it's sexy. Second, I call Wikipedia by your name, something like "Well, what can Viki tell us about that?" And, surprisingly, I don't like Victor, too. It's definitely ugly. Yes.

Well, my childhood dreams were to be a scientist. And it seems I have realized them, partially at least. But I want a change. I'm not a businessman but I'm dropping what I've done for a better life. I hope I will not regret it.

I like rain a lot. I usually feel a sort of euphoria when it rains. Test this: www.rainymood.com/

My favorite music. If a friend of yours and me are so similar, you can guess to what I listen to. Tell me about him, maybe I'll recognize myself

[Гость]

And I like music you like. Some of it.

There is what is called "Linear programming" in engineering, and this is about optimization of a function. You never reach an ideal situation, always there's a compromise. You should sacrifice X to get Y at extremum and vice versa. That's what I love in "Eternal sunshine" movie, their last "OK".

[Queen_of_the_damned]

So, what is your name then? I'm stubborn, I know. My family says that I got this from my dad.

Let's not talk about my friend. Let's talk about you instead

What will be your new job?
And what other movies do you like?

[Гость]

That's very good. Recently, I have read an interesting article, a researcher from a world-class institute wrote that really successful scientists are not the smartest but the most fanatic. I think this may be applied to any field.

My name is a hard part. I'm afraid If I tell you the game will be over. But I like to talk to you. And read your posts, too. They are mostly beautiful. Sensitive. Kind of art. Cool

I'm considering to dive into progging though it's not exactly my field but much better salaries as you know probably. Got through several interviews but refused all opportunities. I'm still swinging.

Movies.. Well, what I've seen recently... let's see. "Lower city" with Alice Braga. She's nice. "Source code", a sort of "Inception", you should have seen it. Not bad. "The mechanist", dark one. "The prestige", interesting. "True Grit", it's a western. Well, somehow shallow, but cinematography is attractive. "The road", mixed feelings on it. Pretty neat atmosphere but too simple idea.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb2fwb6jJks

[Queen_of_the_damned]

You'll tell me your name and the game will be over.... So I do know you, right? Why will the game be over? Do I dislike you in real life for some reason? Or are you my friend?

Being fanatic isn't so good. Fanatics are blind. They don't have creative thinking.

It's funny, I saw none of the movies you did. I guess, here we have completely different tastes.

[Гость]

Be fanatic of creative thinking One can be a fanatic of some goal, not a way to achieve it.
If you have not seen none of them it doesn't mean you'll not like them if you see.
The first line. All questions are Yes, except the second, because it's not Yes/No

[Queen_of_the_damned]

So you are my friend but I dislike you?
Makes no sense really.
Explain.

[Гость]

It depends where you stand. I see myself as your friend, you can dislike me.