Ознакомьтесь с нашей политикой обработки персональных данных
19:37 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Забегаю в Кармелит (Хайфская электричка), спрашиваю охранника, не знает ли он где находится улица Паль-ям.
"Это где?", - осведомляется он.
"В нижнем городе."- обречённо вздыхаю я, понимая, что помощи тут ждать не придётся.
"Ну тогда тебе нужно ехать вниз!",- с готовностью подсказывает он.
Да неужели?

@музыка: Dream Theater - A Rite Of Passage

URL
Комментарии
2011-08-25 в 03:57 

How is your exam? :)

URL
2011-08-25 в 08:27 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Гость, passed, of course, thank you :)
And how are you these days?

URL
2011-08-25 в 23:49 

Congrats! You couldn't fail with your "girls" :)
I'm like you, sometime success sometime less..

URL
2011-08-25 в 23:56 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Гость, what was your latest success?

URL
2011-08-26 в 05:01 

I've cooked a tasty omelet right now :)

URL
2011-08-26 в 09:50 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Гость, well, i guess it is a success. My omelets are not for eating.
And what was your latest failure? :)

URL
2011-08-26 в 23:49 

My last failure is my first failure. They are intertwined, commixed and inseparable.

URL
2011-08-27 в 01:13 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Гость, you are the luckiest guy i know - most of the mortals have more than one failure in their lives: first, last and many others in between.

URL
2011-08-27 в 01:49 

I wish.. But I tried to say I didn't count failures. I see them as a continuum not as countable entities :)

URL
2011-08-27 в 01:56 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Гость, it may look like you are considering yourself a looser with failures that never stop.
Well, if i knew who you are, maybe i would be able to say something usable about it. But i only know that you are from Israel and, must admit, really curious who you are.

URL
2011-08-27 в 02:18 

It stops, it resumes. "There are changes but nothing changes and still there are changes", Enigma, Le Roi Est Mort Vive Le Roi!
Curiosity is your inborn feature? :)

URL
2011-08-27 в 07:07 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Curiosity is normal human feature. Aren't you ever curious about anything?

URL
2011-08-27 в 19:59 

It's not normal; it's a gift; it's fuel for discovery. I'm curious of many things, especially Nature.

URL
2011-08-27 в 20:45 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
What kind of nature?
And how do you discover it?

URL
2011-08-27 в 20:59 

I think we have only one Nature :) And there is only one reliable method to discover its secrets - the scientific method. Do you agree, don't you?

URL
2011-08-27 в 21:11 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, there are many kinds of nature, even if they are all parts of one big nature :)
I mean, you may be interested in your own human nature, or nature as plants and animals or even the kind of Nature that many people call god. For every kind you may have different ways of discovery. You can even use nature to discover nature, if you know what I mean ;)

So tell me more about your scientific methods.

URL
2011-08-27 в 22:04 

I guess I know what you mean :)

But nothing to tell about "my" scientific methods. First, they are not mine, second, as a doctor you should know about scientific discovery very well. In a nutshell, scientific method is based on Occam Razor principle, of which I think you have heard :)

URL
2011-08-27 в 22:10 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I'm not a doctor, don't flatter me.
Of course I heard about scientific methods and bluh bluh bluh. I'm asking YOU to tell me what do you believe in and how do you explore it.
So far I can tell that you are an expert of saying things without really telling anything really. Sneaky guy :) Or a girl, who knows...

URL
2011-08-28 в 01:03 

I believe in epistemic loneliness. And that it can be shadowed by doing interesting things. Also, I believe that AI will eventually replace humanity. Also, I think that the worst enemy of creativity is perfectionism. Empiricism is probably the best way of understanding reality.

Ya, ya, you're a sister of night, ofcoz :)

URL
2011-08-28 в 08:42 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, that was a good answer, finally.
What interesting things are shadowing your loneliness? Writing music, reading books, going to the forest, using drugs, communicating with people, or some other things?
It is funny, by the way, 'cos yesterday I was considering writing a post about loneliness, but decided that I'm not ready yet.

I'm not sure about the empiricism being the best way of understanding reality, but I think it may be the best way to get your own, subjective reality. Which is real for you only. So empiricism is great because you are the center of your own universe, after all.
I don't know... I suspect that I have some problems with perception and understanding the reality in an adequate way. So I'm trying to use rationalism, logic and critical thinking sometimes to be able to differ my own thoughts, feelings and imagination from things that are REALLY happening.

Yep, sister of the night just came back from night shift and going to get some sleep :)

URL
2011-09-01 в 03:28 

Hope you have been rejuvenated by the rest :)

Fully agree on your 2nd paragraph. By empiricism I just meant you should have tried X before saying "I know X".

Can you gave an example when your rational decision took over your feelings?

URL
2011-09-01 в 17:52 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, rational decisions are happening all the time. From small things like not to shout at my boss, even though I really feel like she deserves that.... or to wake up at the morning near the guy i really like but go to work feeling that I would better spend a great day with him. Or it can be very big dilemmas between rational thinking and feelings, extremely hard decisions to make, like leaving someone I love, because this relationship is very unhealthy, traumatic and leading nowhere.
I bet, you had many decisions like that yourself.

URL
2011-09-01 в 23:13 

Oh, I never yell at my bosses. Or any one else. Instinctively, I avoid any direct confrontation. Afterward, the account may be brought to the table. Thus, in my case it's not rational, it's natural :)

So, the love was unshared that caused you to split up from your guy? You said "leading nowhere", but to what destination it had to go?

URL
2011-09-02 в 13:57 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I think it's very rational of you to not yell at your boss "so the account will not be brought to the table". It is very very rational.

A relationship should go to the destination of joy and happiness of two people growing up together, not total destruction and humiliation.

URL
2011-09-02 в 20:32 

I see you've been through hard times. What was wrong in the relationship? What didn't answer your expectations?

URL
2011-09-02 в 20:55 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You see, now it will be an example of the rational thinking, look:
There's a possibility that you know me in real life. Who will I tell the most painful personal information to? Even though I really like those parts of you that I'm able to see here: you look like "on same wave with me" person. Probably would be nice to hang out with you. :)

Nah, I just don't want to talk about it right now, to be honest. So many thinking and conclusions were made about this relationship. I'm moving on... while listening to this www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVAuQDF2yes :)

URL
2011-09-02 в 21:32 

Sorry for entering restricted area.
But may you explain to me why you disclose personal information here at all? Do you qualify it as not important?

Thanks for appreciation. I like you, too. Really :)

Porcupine's guitar is amazing.
It's my domain, fairy tales :)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8EERCw2Im0

URL
2011-09-03 в 13:20 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
And I thought that I'm avoiding private information here :) No pictures, no names, no real skeletons from my closet.
You think any of it can be used against me?

Have you ever been on Porcupine Tree's show?

URL
2011-09-04 в 01:01 

I suppose you're not wanted by FBI so probably nothing to do against you :) But those who know you IRL may know about you more from these pages. Though, maybe that's not a secret at all.
Now I'll ask you probably a rude question - please don't get offended. I'm really curious. Don't you think it's kinda exhibitionism to publish stories about your amour adventures and like? You probably want people to read them. Those who read them are on the other shore of the river - they are voyerists. Kids are usually told it is bad to read others' letters :)

I have not. I get my ass off the chair only for very special events. But it will change soon. And I don't like this change.

URL
2011-09-04 в 01:28 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, maybe there is some truth about what you said about exhibitionism and voyeurism, I have to think about it more, I guess (after all, I'm reading people's blogs too). In some way it is fun: you are writing a diary but it's not the same one as on the paper because " the diary" can answer you. It's a good way of putting things and feelings and thoughts in my head in some kind of logical order. I even noticed that things don't exist until I'm writing them down.
Why would I differ my "amour adventures" from any other adventures? To be honest, I don't think that I'm giving too much personal information. No names, no juicy details. 99% of things that are really going on aren't told here at all.
Those who know me in real life and will read it... well, you are right, they may know more about me. But you are right again - those things aren't such a huge secret :)

Reading letters isn't the same as reading online blogs, don't you agree? :) Letters are only for those who suppose to read them. Online blogs are for anyone who was bored enough to enter and read.

... and I just can't stop myself from asking my question again: do I know you in real life? Just answer with "yes" or "no", that would be really nice. I'm tired of guessing who you may be, and I know for sure that you are in Israel. And I'm simply curious :)

p.s. I'm afraid to ask about those changes in your life, I really doubt that you will tell me the story.

URL
2011-09-04 в 02:36 

Let me start from the end. You cannot know for sure I'm from Israel. I do know you're from Israel and to trick you into thinking I'm your neighbor I just use any of israeli proxies. Couldn't it be the case?

I can't tell. It's "Beauty and the beast" scenario.

I understand written thoughts are more ordered. But you publish them. You share your personal feelings, impressions, reactions to different situations with all the bored people around the world. It's not names, but it's your personality, it's sort of confessio. Do you expect some response, advice? Or is it real exhibitionism such that you are enjoyed to be looked at? And again, excuse me if the questions make you feel uncomfortable.

p.s. Probably mu jobs is going to move from office to a more active place.

URL
2011-09-04 в 16:34 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, we are all revealing parts of our personalities every day in real life, don't we? We react on things and talk to people, real people - isn't that dangerous? Here online no one knows who I am, so why not? It's part of the game that makes it interesting, isn't it? And I can see that you just love those games of being mysterious anonymous guy :)
My personality is only one of thousands personalities on this site. I don't think it's is so special, I really doubt that many people are reading all that. And if they do, fine. Getting a response is nice, but I don't get many of them really. And that doesn't bother me.
Maybe it's a sort of confession, who knows, but I think that in confessions people reveal much more personal information. Why does it bother you so much?

I don't really see the "beauty and the beast" scenario. Where do you see it? :)

What is your job if I'm allowed to ask?

URL
2011-09-04 в 18:47 

I always wonder what makes people to share their photos, desires, works, children, travel places etc. on the social networks. It really astonishes me. "Here I am and the X-mountain on the background"-sort of messages get me into laugh :)

"BaTB" maybe not the best parallel, the implication was that "the mist of secrecy" may fuel our conversation. If I drop my niqab you may lose your interest
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PudnlreZ-tM
:)

My job is a kind of scientific research.

URL
2011-09-04 в 18:59 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Thanks, I really enjoyed the music :)

You don't need to wonder why people do that - you explained it yourself very well: some kind of exhibitionism... after long thinking about that I decided it may be not so far from the truth.
But what makes many other people read it? Why YOU reading it and find it interesting?
Don't you think it's some kind of symbiosis between those who write it all and those who read it? So everyone's happy :)

Why would i lose my interest? You seem like an interesting person. And if I don't know you in real life, that would be very interesting to know you. Well, even if I do know you, that would be interesting to know you more :)
Although, I must admit, the fact that I have no idea who you are really warms up my interest.

What is your research about?

URL
2011-09-04 в 23:30 

Oh, I'm fascinated by reading letters that are not for my eyes! :) I have a firm explanation for this fetish: it's kind of power over the one from whom you steal the information; it may be used to manipulate him(her). And people like to be powerful... Well, everyone in his own way. Take a look on this blog, biowonders.wordpress.com/, all these creatures give me such an inspiration! :)

I think I should remain unveiled to warm you up :) Maybe you will reveal later.

My research is on the properties of a certain substance; let's say the project is in the material science boundaries.

URL
2011-09-05 в 01:39 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You just brought to me one memory from my childhood: once I stole a letter from neighbor's mail box and read it. It felt nice at the beginning, but then I realized that I have no idea who are all these people that the guy who wrote it was talking about and in the end I lost interest. People are just people. It's our imagination that makes them, or things they do, so special and fascinating.
But blogs... well, those aren't letters "not for your eyes". Those are open - read them as much as you wish. You don't still information here, it is provided to you. They can't satisfy you, I think. My blog is also open to anyone, so why do you like it? Are you planning to use the information in it to manipulate me? :)

Did you ever manipulate anyone using their secret information?

Some of those videos are impressive, I must say. Lectures about parasites, viruses, bacterias and so on were very interesting for me in the university.
Just a little observation: parasites don't usually attack and manipulate species of their own kinds. Humans do.
Can you tell me more about your research?

URL
2011-09-05 в 17:27 

A single and random sample is obviously not interesting. Only when you discover a pattern in a seemingly random data set, the things turn to be interesting.
People are people, ya :) www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DU9vfK_bl4o8
I will not manipulate you more than I do :) I like you. Distantly.

Using secret information is simple. The attack may be based on impersonation. An example scheme is as follows. A person assumes only trusted people have an access to the secret information. Therefore, he trusts messages coming from anyone who displays the secret information.

That's because humans are not of the same species :)

The research is take a polymer and "torture" it until it shows you its secrets!

URL
2011-09-05 в 17:42 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
"Using secret information is simple. The attack may be based on impersonation. An example scheme is as follows. A person assumes only trusted people have an access to the secret information. Therefore, he trusts messages coming from anyone who displays the secret information."
Please, explain. My tired brain doesn't get it.

So, what kind of specie you are? The one who only answering questions that he likes and ignores all the others? :)

Does my diary goes together with the pattern you discovered while reading hundreds of diaries, or is it different?

URL
2011-09-06 в 02:49 

All your questions are equally weighted and none is ignored. Your blog is as different as you are. And you are special ;)

Can you be tired? I don't believe, you're always sharp. So, a concrete example, perhaps a little artificial. Suppose you sent an email to your girl friend alice@yahoo.com telling her "I'm in love with a boy X". That's only your girl friend who's supposed to know. Now you receive email from alice@yahoo.co.il with something like "Oh, I know this boy; look at the files attached and you'll know all about him; don't take risks". There are high chances you will open the files even if the source of the mail is yahoo.co.il and not original yahoo.com. You think the email is from your girlfriend because the sender knows about your secret information and you conclude the sender is your girlfriend (because only she knows about your love) though the email is not original. You might think "Ok, probably my girlfriend has another email that I don't know of. But the sender knows X, therefore that may be only my girlfriend".
The attacker (as you understood, being alice@yahoo.co.il) was able to intercept your message in between. He could not break neither into your email, nor into your girlfriend's but he was able to get the message somehow. And this simple fact give him a chance to impersonate your girlfriend and send you malicious files you will open with high probability (opening the files concludes the attack).
You may ask how all this is connected to blogs, social networks and like. It's very connected because in your posts you may leak some information that can be later composed to make you think it comes from a trusted source. That's not an easy task, but sometimes yields results.

URL
2011-09-06 в 02:50 

I wanted to ask you, what do you think about "Fake it till you make it"? This is supposed to mean that if you imitate "it", this "it" may finally come true. Say, you imitate being the best dancer in the world, and in the end you do become such a dancer. Or, on the other side, you imitate loneliness and finally you become lone. Does it sound to you?

URL
2011-09-06 в 08:19 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Oh, that sound to me very much. Not the example about dancer, because you can't change the world around you. But you can change your own world - the one that is in your head. Or your perception of it.
I don't know if you remember me saying before that some things become true only after I'm writing them down. I think it's the best example of it. And on the other side, if I never said something, even to myself, it is not happening. For example, until I say "I love him" or "I'm having a bad day" or "I'm so tired", things are ok, but after I'm saying that, they change. I noticed that not such a long time ago, really, so I'm trying to be careful with those things and say them only if I have no doubt that I do "love him", "tired" or "having a bad day". And trying to be positive, even though it's very hard for me.

So, do you practice things that you had in your example? Or something like that?

... my questions are weighted but not answered? :)

URL
2011-09-06 в 13:21 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
And to your example with "alice": what kind of results can the attacker achieve? So I'll open the file. What can be in it?
For purposes like that, I guess, my blog has enough of information. But now I'm aware of that kind of threat, right? How else can the information here be used?
And again: we are giving out information about ourselves all the time in real life. Someone can always hear your conversations, or find out where you live, or in some way get some information about you from your closest friends and family. And that information can be used in even more dangerous way. So if you compare the information here to that in real life, this blog seems like a very safe thing.

URL
2011-09-06 в 23:45 

You are a strong girl. I think otherwise you could not do your work. I suppose it requires a lot of patience. Do you have a mantra for being positive? What's your secret? What does drive you in life? Hope? Love?

Practice... It's not my professional realm, so I don't have much time for this. But I taste this sometimes :) It can be really sweet.

If I didn't answer your question, it's certainly I just missed it. What didn't I answer?

I don't want to frighten you or cause you to stop blogging. Just as you said be aware of threats. Most people are not. I didn't think about exploitation of your blog information. Probably, one will need some additional knowledge about you plus a wish to target you. All you said about real life is correct, but one needs to be a detective in real life to spy on you. In internet its much more easy, you can be glued to your chair and move only tips of your fingers to trick someone. Files.. Well, if they are executable programs they may be any thing, probably they'll be some RAT (remote administration tool) that enables a penetrator to play with your computer as he wants. It may be just advertising program, that makes clicks on remote banner from your Ip and the attacker gets money from this. Also, your zobie computer may be used to attack another computers, what is called denial of service attack (DoS).

URL
2011-09-07 в 17:35 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Oh, so that's what those DoS attacks mean!

I don't have any mantras. At least, nothing comes to my mind right now except "it's ok" that I am whispering to myself to calm myself down when I'm worrying too much. That's the most boring mantra in the world :)
At different times different things driving me in life. Love, of course, is a very strong thing, but I don't have it right now. Hope... who knows. But what usually drives me is fear. I afraid that if I will not do this and that, things will get very bad and I'll suffer. That's what makes me do my job and wake up early in the morning and deal with lot's of things that I hate to deal with (you have to swim if you don't want to drawn). Love can help a lot and give energy, but fear is the strongest driver.
What drives you?

I don't remember all the questions you did not answer, and I'm too lazy to look for them. I only remember that you said that humans are not of same species and I asked you what kind of specie you are.
Also questions about you - you are very sneaky when it comes to this. Never feeding my curiosity. And I want to know something about you. At least how old are you and where are you, at least the country... And I would like you to name yourself anyhow: I don't like to think of you as some anonymous guest (I would prefer your real name, but I'm sure you will never tell me).

URL
2011-09-08 в 01:57 

I'm of your age, approximately. Let's say I'm Alex (or John Smith).

Your last record is very impressive. You said you don't want to talk about it. Can you tell what was a cause of the break? Sorry for heartlessness, I never felt love.

URL
2011-09-08 в 02:20 

URL
2011-09-08 в 07:23 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Alex?! Are you kidding me? You know how many Alex's there are in my life right now? I'm tired of counting. Can you pick something that sounds more like a name? Unless Alex is your real one.
How do you know my age?

My last record is about relationship that ended 4 or 5 years ago. The cause of break was me. I felt one day that the love is gone and I want to move on. So I did. We stayed close friends for few years after that, but he was, of course, hurt and angry. I think if you'll look in this diary you may find his comments - guest that speaks to me with no respect, trying to insult me. But it's is ok.
Now he is married and has a little son. I really hope he is happy.

Nice music by the way. Really good for this morning.

URL
2011-09-08 в 07:27 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
And still you didn't say where are you. I promise, I will not go out looking for you :)

And also you did not answered: what drives you?

URL
2011-09-08 в 21:28 

You know, if anyone doesn't want to disclose his name he calls himself John Smith in USA; Alex in Israel. That's a point- they are too numerous :)
Ok, so let's call me Victor.
You've mentioned your age somewhere in this diary.
How can you know that love has gone? Is it binary, Yes-No trigger?
My drive. Well, I thought I'd answered you. It was my fantasy. Oops. Well, the answer comes. My drive has radically changed recently. It's not fear, though it grips me sometimes uneasily. With the reasons like yours, I assume. To relieve the fear I call fatalism as a sedative: nothing to lose, nothing to fear. I've decided to harness money to drive my life from now on. It's the time, I think. Sad but true.
All right, my first crack, I'm from Israel, your initial guess was correct.

URL
2011-09-08 в 21:54 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes, I know about John Smith and Alex. Those aren't names. That's why I don't like your answer.
Victor... always hated that name. Even though it's the male version of my own.

Money... what a sad drive. Well, fear is even saddest, I guess. We are both so pathetic!

Of course you can know that love is gone. You just don't feel it anymore. It doesn't happens in one day. It takes time. But eventually you realize that you want to move on.

I had no doubt you are from Israel :) Call it intuition. I checked the statistics too early, before you even started to play your game. I never believed that you thought about that option at that point.
Well, are you in Haifa? It's really interesting... maybe I've met you before. Somewhere. Maybe even passed near you on the street. If you told me the truth about your job, then, I guess, I don't know you in real life - can't think of any scientist that I know. Well, not with your taste in music and personality at least.

URL
2011-09-08 в 23:15 

I know about stats, I even write my own hit counters with better stats than are usually provided by hosts. But you cannot be sure about the location, i can easily stream all my traffic through isreali proxy to prevent any accidental leakage of the real IP.
So, Victoria, you don't like Victors. Are there any negative connotations with this name except your own? :)
Ya, to be a businessman was never in my childhood dreams. But you grow up and change. And to survive is to adapt. So that's all objective I think. I hope.
What do you think about my taste in music and personality?

Do you like rain?

URL
2011-09-09 в 08:52 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I cannot be sure about location, but still, I just knew you are here. Women have this kind of intuition :P

There's no negative connotations with name Victor. It just sounds bad to me. Can't explain why, it's weird to me too. And I really like my name. So, what's yours? :)

I like your taste in music. Well, some of it. Some links that you gave me are actually good. And it is hard to satisfy me in music. I downloaded the whole Ephemeral Mists album to see if I'll like it, but was disappointed. And you like Porcupine Tree, which is my number one favorite these days. What else do you listen?
I also like your personality. I'm bored with boring people around me all the time, who speak about TV shows, work, money and other boring stuff, not thinking much. Like zombies. I'm afraid to become one of them. Also, by your personality, you remind me a friend of mine. To be honest, until not so long ago I was 95% sure that you are him. You think alike and you are talking about same things in same way. There is still a little chance that you are him :) Depends on how much truth you told me and how many details of your life that you told me are imaginary.

I like rain. But for me to enjoy it there must be one of two conditions: I'm sitting at home and don't have to go out anywhere or I'm out but there's no wind at all. When I was little we had rain at summer, that was really nice to walk in it. Too bad, in Israel it's always cold while raining. I hate standing in the rain at winter. I hate cold.
I guess, you like rain if you asked :)

So, what was in your childhood dreams?
Wait, you said you are scientist, now you are a businessman... Hm.....

URL
2011-09-10 в 02:05 

It's really interesting.
I like your name, too. First, it's sexy. Second, I call Wikipedia by your name, something like "Well, what can Viki tell us about that?" ;) And, surprisingly, I don't like Victor, too. It's definitely ugly. Yes.

Well, my childhood dreams were to be a scientist. And it seems I have realized them, partially at least. But I want a change. I'm not a businessman but I'm dropping what I've done for a better life. I hope I will not regret it.

I like rain a lot. I usually feel a sort of euphoria when it rains. Test this: www.rainymood.com/

My favorite music. If a friend of yours and me are so similar, you can guess to what I listen to. Tell me about him, maybe I'll recognize myself :)

URL
2011-09-10 в 02:38 

And I like music you like. Some of it.

There is what is called "Linear programming" in engineering, and this is about optimization of a function. You never reach an ideal situation, always there's a compromise. You should sacrifice X to get Y at extremum and vice versa. That's what I love in "Eternal sunshine" movie, their last "OK".

URL
2011-09-10 в 16:33 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
So, what is your name then? I'm stubborn, I know. My family says that I got this from my dad.

Let's not talk about my friend. Let's talk about you instead :)

What will be your new job?
And what other movies do you like?

URL
2011-09-10 в 20:02 

That's very good. Recently, I have read an interesting article, a researcher from a world-class institute wrote that really successful scientists are not the smartest but the most fanatic. I think this may be applied to any field.

My name is a hard part. I'm afraid If I tell you the game will be over. But I like to talk to you. And read your posts, too. They are mostly beautiful. Sensitive. Kind of art. Cool ;)

I'm considering to dive into progging though it's not exactly my field but much better salaries as you know probably. Got through several interviews but refused all opportunities. I'm still swinging.

Movies.. Well, what I've seen recently... let's see. "Lower city" with Alice Braga. She's nice. "Source code", a sort of "Inception", you should have seen it. Not bad. "The mechanist", dark one. "The prestige", interesting. "True Grit", it's a western. Well, somehow shallow, but cinematography is attractive. "The road", mixed feelings on it. Pretty neat atmosphere but too simple idea.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eb2fwb6jJks

URL
2011-09-10 в 20:43 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You'll tell me your name and the game will be over.... So I do know you, right? Why will the game be over? Do I dislike you in real life for some reason? Or are you my friend?

Being fanatic isn't so good. Fanatics are blind. They don't have creative thinking.

It's funny, I saw none of the movies you did. I guess, here we have completely different tastes.

URL
2011-09-10 в 20:55 

Be fanatic of creative thinking :) One can be a fanatic of some goal, not a way to achieve it.
If you have not seen none of them it doesn't mean you'll not like them if you see.
The first line. All questions are Yes, except the second, because it's not Yes/No ;)

URL
2011-09-10 в 20:58 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
So you are my friend but I dislike you?
Makes no sense really.
Explain.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:03 

It depends where you stand. I see myself as your friend, you can dislike me.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:04 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Why do you think that I dislike you? Did you ever hurt me? Or did I ever said something bad to you? Insulted you in some way?

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:08 

I assume I did.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:09 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
So I did like you, right? Because the one I don't care about can't hurt me.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:16 

I don't know. I think we were on the wave. That's what is not frequent.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:18 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
When did everything happened? This on the wave thing.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:23 

You have not guessed, yet?

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:25 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Not yet. That "on the same wave thing" happened to me more than once. And I used it to explain things to many people.
Is your name starts from the letter "M"? Just a wild guess....

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:31 

:)) No. Well, I'm not so bad in masquerading. It's good. Anyway, it seems you've changed your tone.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:35 

Did you see "Astroboy". It's an animated movie. About losing identity.

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:35 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
My curiosity made me change it.
I really really like you.
I don't want to spoil it. So I'll try to stop those questions.
Can you promise me one thing? That one day you will tell me who you are. That in the end I will find out. If you'll promise me this, I will be able to calm down and enjoy our talking fully.
But if you promise, you have to keep the promise one day, sooner or later. Can you do that?

Sorry, time to go to Tel Aviv to milonga. Tango all night long :)

URL
2011-09-10 в 21:45 

I'll tell you one day.

Have a good time.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=X84D01da35E&feature=wat...

URL
2011-09-11 в 05:24 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Ok, you promised.
Although, it's not so smart of me to trust your word. I mean, obviously, some things you told me aren't true: I don't know anyone that fits all that data at the same time. But I know many that fit different parts of it.

I did not see "Astroboy". Why?

About two last links that you gave me... not my kind of music, feel nothing listening to it. Do you know something that has that porcupine tree mood/energy? That's the thing that works best for me these days.

URL
2011-09-11 в 23:47 

The data is true. I think I left no traces in your memory. It's all a matter of scale. It's like a bite of a mosquito to an elephant.
I know you don't like such. It was not for you, it was a mark for me ;)

URL
2011-09-11 в 23:51 

"Astroboy" is childish. I advise "The reader", it's better I think.

URL
2011-09-12 в 00:15 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
So, you think you've hurt me, but it didn't leave a trace in my memory? Hm... Makes no sense to me.

I know you don't like such. It was not for you, it was a mark for me What do you mean? What was not for me?

"The reader" is in my collection. Saw it and read the book.

URL
2011-09-12 в 01:13 

Pain? Probably not. Annoying bite maybe.
I know you don't like such music. I signed the page with the link for me myself :)
What do you like in the movie? I was deeply touched by a picture of Hanna. She preferred prison over discovering her weakness, the one she was in-normally ashamed of. This shame was so powerful she could not solve the problem till she was in the jail. She could ask the kid to teach her but she didn't. She ran her punishment, suddenly a hope came with the tapes, she overcame the shame and learn to read. And standing to get free she uses these books of which she had hoped so much all her life to hang herself. It's requiem for a dream.

URL
2011-09-12 в 01:26 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Annoying bite? It seems to me that I made you feel bad in some way.
Why did we lose contact in real life?

What I like in "Reader" is how plain and naive Hanna is. She participated in awful things but she doesn't really think about that, never trying to analize. It seems normal to her, and never bothering at all. This is what amazes me.
And the love story where two people in the couple are so different and unequal is really attractive to me.

URL
2011-09-12 в 01:59 

There was no much contact. Further details are prone to break the entire mystery. I'm saying you'll be disappointed, I don't want it.

These are good points. I understand the boy, first encounter makes the strongest impression. What moved the woman?

URL
2011-09-12 в 08:14 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
That's easy. Loneliness moved her. Maybe some mother instinct also. You will be surprised how it can combine with sexual desire sometimes to make both stronger.

How did you find my diary? How did you know that this is me? Did you look for it intentionally?

Watch "Ashes and snow". But download it in a very very good quality. The best you can find. Every shot there is absolutely beautiful. Like a perfect picture. Do you like taking pictures?

URL
2011-09-12 в 17:27 

Hm, very fitting explanation. Really, she had no children. I didn't think of this.

Oh, it's easy :) Knowledge of several facts about you lead to this place straightforward. Yes, I tried to find you online. And anonymous, exactly as now. But I start to think it was not so bright idea, it seems it distresses you too much. It's really not my intention.

I'll watch it tonight.

URL
2011-09-12 в 17:32 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Distresses me? Not at all! I like you being here. No matter who you are. Don't really know why. Maybe I like the fact that you are mysterious and can be anyone. So my imagination can do whatever it wants with it.

I know those facts... my parrots. Not everyone has Nikki and Marty, right? If you google it, you will probably find my diary.

About Hanna - it doesn't matter if she had children or not. I can't explain it really, you have to be a woman and feel it, I guess.

What zodiac sign are you?

URL
2011-09-12 в 18:58 

Then it's encouraging. That's actually the thought I had. Why not to get fun of spy game? It can entertain you, you'll think of this when going to your dancing, it may even disturb you to read :)

Yes, your pets make you different. On search engines, I mean. You're different in other ways, too :)

Did you feel this combination of instincts sometime?

I'm born on January. It's capricorn I think. But you don't believe in stars, do you?

URL
2011-09-12 в 19:06 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
No, I don't believe in stars :)
And you didn't answer my question: do you like taking pictures?

And yes, I had this combination of instincts. Twice. It's very dangerous. It makes you refer (hope it's the right word) the person differently. You know that it's not love but can't throw him out of your mind. Some kind of obsession that is very hard to get rid of.

URL
2011-09-12 в 19:56 

You mean photography? Playing with lights and scene? I've got zero experience in this. Moreover, I have had no camera till recently :)
But I like white-black ones. And microphotography, something like www.nano-reef.com/gallery/data/500/medium/SEM_d... (don't get afraid!)
When a child I saw (in a scientific journal) artistically processed microphotographies of ascorbic acid crystals, they were colorful, black-yellow-red palette, and looked as a galaxy: stars, clouds of dust, black hole in the center. Since then I like micro-things, small, concentrated, the invisible worlds. I mean molecules, small scale attracts me more than cosmically large planets. Well, probably not relevant associative series, that's it :) Do you do photos?

So, you felt your love diminished but mother instinct prevented you from throwing him away? Was it a pity? Did you feel parental responsibility for him?

URL
2011-09-13 в 02:29 

I want ask you, what associations do you have if any looking at a plasma ball? like this www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YFEMwtgpqY

URL
2011-09-13 в 07:32 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
The first link isn't working. Plasma ball on the second, well, these always remind me a witches ball. The ones they are using to look into other people's lives. What is your association?
I don't do photos. But I do like black and white old pictures. My grandfather was a photographer, and I have few of his old pictures of myself and family. I really like them. But I never really knew him - he died when I was 5.

Where did you see me talking about love? I was talking about mother instinct combined with sexual desire. It has nothing to do with the guy I loved. You started guessing things.

URL
2011-09-13 в 19:39 

Try this
www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1318795...

I have no photos of me with my family when i was a child. I think it's strange enough that my parents didn't care about it. Probably they liked conspiracy :)

I thought of plasma ball as a symbol for instability, uncertainty. It's pretty direct linkage because the lightnings are chaotic. That's the first association and probably most characteristic. On the other side, the discharges are like tentacles, sensors trying to observe the environment, may represent the mind of a researcher or just curious person. This depends on the rate of the discharges, the slow ones represent more accurate, calm person; faster ones are nervous, a person in zeitnot feverishly searching for solution.


Oh, I'm sorry. But can you explain how the combination was felt by you. Where did exactly the maternal instinct stand?

URL
2011-09-13 в 19:50 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
What do you mean "WHERE did it stand?". It made me "obsessed" about the person, that's all. I wanted to be near him, I wanted him, and at every sign of him feeling sad or bad I felt the huge will to hug and protect him and make him feel better. That's not too healthy thing I think :)

That's a very nice analysis of the plasma ball :) I feel so primitive now - those things would never come to my mind.

I saw these pictures before. Those are amazing. Really great material for imagination. Too bad, the colors aren't real.

So, did you see "Ashes and snow"?

URL
2011-09-13 в 20:51 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
And did you hear this one? :
www.youtube.com/watch?v=BClzBQmZZBc

URL
2011-09-13 в 21:32 

Ok, that's what I wanted to hear. So "wanted him" belongs to sexual desire and "to hug and protect him and make him feel better" belongs to maternal instinct, am I right? Hence my question: how do you think it should be healthy?

Thanks. I think there's no grades in the game of associations. In fact, I thought my look on the ball was trivial. I was taking a walk yesterday when the question "What can best reflect my current mind state?" bubbled up the plasma lightnings :)
Colors are never real, depend on many conditions like transmission medium or source light. What color does the Moon have? I saw it red today at about 19:00, is it true? :)

Yes, I saw. It's not only beautiful but exceptionally inspirational. I will it see it today again. Looking for a hidden messages for me :)
Do you know other jewels similar to "Ashes"?

URL
2011-09-13 в 21:54 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Some people compare "Ashes and snow" with the movie "Baraka", but I think they are different. "Ashes and snow", in my opinion, is about harmony of human and nature, "Baraka" is, if I remember right, about ceremonies and customs of people around the world as opposite to civilization. You can try watching this one too. It's also interesting and has Lisa Gerrard singing in some scenes. I love her, her voice is so charming that it is physical.

What do I call healthy? Well, I don't know. I'm not sure that I ever had a healthy relationship really. But I'm sure that being obsessed with anyone isn't healthy at all. I think woman should see a man as a man, as her companion, if you wish. We all have mother instincts, we are caring and comforting, but it shouldn't be THAT strong.

URL
2011-09-14 в 01:44 

Yes, obsession is devastating condition. I even think I understand you very well in this aspect because I was (long ago, however) in absolutely desperate unanswered love. It was crazy. But as the girl said, "When I get remote from your eyes you'll see as I get remote from your heart". It perfectly worked! But may I conclude you're a passionate person? Would you define yourself so?

"Ashes", yes, I agree. It's very touching me at the current moment. I'll get "Baraka" definitely. And I know Lisa Gerard, she's a lead singer of "Dead Can Dance". I have even a history with this band. When in school (if I don't mess the dates), it was Napster, a first file sharing program, with which me and my friend got tons of music, it was like gold fever! :) I perfectly remember the first song of DCD we got was "Host of Seraphims". Then Napster was prosecuted, the network close and only good memories remained. Then appeared AudioGalaxy, but it was much worse than Napster. Wow, Napster, Napster! :)
Also, "The Mist", did you see it? It's of Stephen King, average fantastic thriller with very tragic end. With "Host of Seraphims" concluding the movie. Very strong.

I have another question to you. A friend of mine is used to say: "People do not change". Do you agree with that?

URL
2011-09-14 в 08:44 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You said before that you never loved. Now you say you did. Unanswered love is also love, isn't it?
I'm not sure if I am passionate person. I can be also very cold and unloving. But I tend to imagine things about people around me. And my imagination is unstoppable. It prevents me from seeing who I am really dealing with. And it takes some time until I realize that the person I imagined does not exist.

I know "Dead can dance" for quite a few years already. I found out about them when I found some heavy metal album called "A tribute to Dead Can Dance" and was absolutely fascinated by one song (and the voice of the singer that is not Lisa Gerrard, of course: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ac7emCRuVE
When I found how it originally sounds, I was disappointed. I tried to listen to other Dead Can Dance songs, but did not like it. I had no idea then who the hell is Lisa Gerrard. And even few years earlier a friend of mine let me listen to her and I said: "What is that damn opera? Give me rock!"
I found her again 6 or 7 years later when I watched "Ashes and snow". Remember that dance of woman with a bird? (let's not mention that I can see how the bird is looking at the trainer and the moment it receives a command and decides to react by flying towards him :) ). Anyway, it has this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3YiHhIcjZA . I can listen to it forever without stopping. I makes me fly. :)

I used to think alot about this "people do not change" thing. It is true and not true. People do change with the time. I'm different from how I was only 3 years ago. So different. But there are things that aren't change. Some features of my character that will stay no matter what. Some changes are possible, some aren't, that's it. I'm trying to avoid statements like that. Those are sentences that are trying to make you see the world in black and white. But it also has all kind of grey colors. Let alone all the other blue, red, yellow and green ones :)

URL
2011-09-14 в 14:57 

Just a check for your attention. You've passed it ;) Well, actually, I've been never loved back.
Creating idealized target for love is what I would call wishful thinking. Disappointment inevitably results. Do you agree?

Oho, Helena with her "When silence cries.." is one of the first in my top list of songs. I didn't know she was a part of other projects `cept Trail of Tears.
Don't you like opera? Many metal bands derive from opera a lot of ideas, I'd say many of them are 'heavy metal opera'.
You like "Vespers", try this: www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvJ7mL6zy90&feature=rel....
Do your parrots obey your commands?

I usually argue your "there are shades of gray"-statement with "There are 10 types of people: one who understand the binary and second who don't" :)
Can you give examples of your constant traits and those that can change?

URL
2011-09-14 в 16:57 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes, I agree with your first paragraph. Wishful thinking, that's what it is. I should stop practicing that.
Did anyone love you without you loving back?

The link you gave me... it's nice but you can't compare it with "Vespers". Completely different energetics.
I like heavy metal with opera voices. But my problem with this genre is that I have growling. I just can't stand it! It's impossible to hear, I'm really suffering while hearing this. But there are small exceptions. For example: www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4YMs0x--fk

Well, let's say, my parrots obey my commands most of the time. Marty doesn't know many of tricks and commands, but he knows the most important ones.
Nikki obeys almost always, she's grew up to be a really good girl. In addiction she loves tricks that has no real importance. Just for fun. Not the ones that make me control her.

Traits that can change.... Well, it's all matter of studying and experience.
For example, before I moved to Haifa I was dependable, afraid of doing certain things by myself, but now I more undependable, and not afraid of them because I experienced them and nothing bad happened.
Or, for example, I was very innocent, trusting people and believing almost everything they say. After some bad experience, I became more careful.
Or maybe I was open in relationship, telling the guy what I feel without thinking twice. After bad consequences of this, I became more closed.
You can continue on and on: we are all changing so many times in so many ways in our lives. Even our tastes in music, books, food, people, hobbies are changing.

URL
2011-09-14 в 18:38 

You hate growling but love heavy metal. What about Apocalytica? No voices at all. Something like this:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=14sRksQGgts

Epica... Yes, I know them, of course. What do you think on that: www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-EdGnoZUpI

Try this, too, it's almost entirely instrumental ( I recommend 3 parties, featuring distorted guitar highly loved by me!):
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1aJPEFtoNg

What were bad consequences of being open in relationships? You told him something that offended him and you were sorry?
Your tastes in music, books, food, people, hobbies are changing? That's very interesting because mine are not. At least, I don't notice these changes. It seems I was born, imprinted with all I love today and it ever-lasts. Well, maybe some degradation occurs, too, because of getting old :)

URL
2011-09-14 в 18:44 

Oh, I forgot to answer your question. You see, it's subconsciousness tries to ignore it :) To the best of my knowledge, I've been loved by no one except my parents. Well, maybe several old ladies felt sympathy toward me. But not very explicitly.

URL
2011-09-14 в 18:54 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Why, in your opinion, nobody ever loved you?

And yes, my tastes are changing, of course! In every period of life different things are interest and inspire me. But, of course, I have things that will not change: my love for animals, maybe some people I love and many other things.

I used to like Theatre of tragedy. My favorite one: www.youtube.com/watch?v=2oP2v05JqXU But they changed so badly, became some cheap parody of themselves.

Do you like rock operas?

URL
2011-09-14 в 19:33 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Oh, and Apocalyptica sounds really good in this one. And the hairy boys are cute :)
I remember, I tried to listen to them before, but for some reason didn't like too much.

URL
2011-09-14 в 20:38 

Hehe, the boys are tooo cute, imho.
Why none loved me. That's an interesting question, especially for me :) I think bad socialization, excessive politeness interpreted as shyness. There is positive feedback: you get remote from people, then you lose your social skills and this loss leads to even more seclusion. Another reason is physical appearance though I don't think I'm especially ugly. Or, it may be that I've never wanted to be loved. Being alone has its large advantages. You've got your own space always, the problem is you're swallowed by it from time to time, the space is too much, too huge. Especially on holidays ;) Well, I don't care anymore. But I definitely like to have an interesting people to talk with who can inspire me, energize my life. It's very egoistic. You're a victim of this egoism ;)
Venus is from the first album of Theater of Tragedy I heard. Cool.

URL
2011-09-14 в 20:42 

I don't know many rock operas. Any suggestions?

URL
2011-09-14 в 20:58 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, to be alone is an extreme that I stopped to like. To be surrounded with people all the time is also an extreme that I do not want also. The best thing is to find balance between them and have a nice life :) I'm working on it.
Do you have long hair? :)

Rock operas that I love the most (some of them are conceptual albums, but that's pretty much the same for me):
Pink Floyd "The wall"
Dream Theater "Scenes from the memory"
Andrew Lloyd Weber "Jesus Christ superstar"
Riverside "The reality dream" trilogy.
After Forever "Invisible circles"
Seventh Wonder "Mercy falls"
The Who "Tommy"

URL
2011-09-14 в 21:19 

No, I don't have long hair. I tried sometime to grow it long, but they are curly. It becomes unmanageable, so i prefer a simple solution: cut it off :)

Ok, of Weber I heard of course. I have an album of After Forever "Decipher" and of course I heard of Pink Floyd's "The wall". I'll examine others.
Btw, of Pink Floyd I mostly love "High hopes".

URL
2011-09-15 в 04:37 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Mmmm, what can be more beautiful than long curly hair?

Don't have this After Forever album. I'll get it.

I had such a crazy evening!
Went to a date with some guy. He seemed really nice and intelligent and adequate. Until he got drunk. Then he started to make a moves on me. So I had to run away from him. Literally.
So I went to my favorite pub and my favorite barman made me a great cocktail and there were nice friends around me. And this drunk guy kept sending me sms', telling me how much he wants and likes me.
Anyway, think I should go to bed: I'm tired and it's really hard to concentrate on what I want to say.

URL
2011-09-15 в 11:48 

Oh, poor boy! I can read his mind. First, he's really nice and intelligent and adequate, could you mistake? :) Of course he liked you. But he misinterpreted the situation. I bet he's not very experienced. I think he'll apologize. If you liked him and are not finally disgusted by his behavior, give him a sign. I think he'll be glad to restart. By the way, is not it a good feeling that someone gets drunk because of you? I think I would feel a sort of self-esteem boost if I knew I could influence people in such a drastic way. Or are you usual to this? :)

Late to say, but I'll do, "Have nice dreams" :)

URL
2011-09-15 в 13:41 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Good morning! :)
He apologized already. He didn't get drunk because of me. As it turned out, he intended to do that from the beginning of the evening. It was very stupid to do it with me near him. The best way to spoil everything is to get drunk and trying to hug and kiss me when I don't want it.
Anyway, it was so nice to run away from the monster to the place I love, where people I like present. Had a great night after all.

I was told yesterday that Dream Theater have a new album already. Must find it!

So, tell me, how about books? What do you like to read?

URL
2011-09-15 в 17:06 

Excessive anything including drinking is not good. Did you excuse him?

Friedrich Engels is said to like reading dictionaries. I agree with him on this :) I like reading technical books.
Like sci-fi of course. I would strongly advise "A door in the wall" of G.Welles. I like S. Lem, his extraterrestial life is usually non-carbon based and this makes him special. "Solaris" is the best imo.
Bredbery, Azimov, Hiehline, Clark.
I like Nabokov, especially "Obscure camera". J.London is good. I liked A.Duma very much time ago. M.Reid.
I loved Andjey Sapkovskij and Ursula Le Guine for fantasy. King is not bad sometimes, his half-autobiographic "The corpse" was very impressive, I remember.
Oruwell is exceptionally nice.
Do you want me to read anything good? :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 00:21 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes, I excused him. But if he will dare to do that again....

You have a good taste in reading :) I used to love sci-fi. I still do. Just trying to put some classics in between sometimes. And King is my number one favorite!
Ill think about some books to recommend you when ill be less tired.

URL
2011-09-16 в 10:17 

What should the guy have said to convince you he was not a monster and persuade you to meet him again (you meet him again as I understood)?

Waiting impatiently for the list! :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 16:34 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, I talked to him sober, that's all. When he isn't drunk, he can be a really good company.
And it turned out that he was studying at university with my very very close friend. I talked to her yesterday, she said that overall he is a nice guy.

Forgot to think about the list. Try "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by Ken Kesey. Love it!
Do you read in Russian? :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 20:01 

So you're not a resentful person? What does make 'a really good company' for you?

One item comprises a list, too. A short one, however :) Sounds cool, thanks!

I do sometimes :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 20:45 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
No, I'm not resentful at all.

You know, I keep thinking about what you told me week ago. That you think you've hurt me. Why do you think that?

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:08 

Then I corrected. I said that the word 'hurt' was inapplicable for such a situation. I don't think I hurt you.

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:11 

Though I would like to be in power to cause some kind of emotional movements in your heart, poetically saying :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:12 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
No, I asked you "did I hurt you in some way, or did you hurt me?" and you said "I think I did"

So did I hurt you? Why did we stop seeing each other in real life?

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:24 

Yes, I said I did and then corrected it by giving a mosquito example ;)
Because you wanted it to stop.

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:25 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Did I tell you that i wanted it to stop? Literally tell you?

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:32 

That's it.
But we can communicate here, you see. I'll harvest good things from you virtually ;)

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:35 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Just one question: does your name begins with "K"?

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:43 

No. It's not K. I didn't think there were so many people that resemble my style. It's reassuring :)

Let's continue undetermined.

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:46 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Resemble you style? What do you mean?

Well, all that I can say is thank god your name doesn't starts from K :)
But I don't remember anyone else in my life that I literally told to get out of my life.

URL
2011-09-16 в 21:57 

By "My style" I mean my virtual appearance, as I think, as I built sentences (it was wise to chose english, right? :)), discussion topics.. I don't know if you have ever attempted but it's possible to identify the same person posting on different forums, for example. You're identifiable, actually I asked you about "people do not change" when you resembled you :) But we didn't talk much, you probably didn't pay
attention.

Ok, be sure, I'm not K.

Well, it just supports my opinion I didn't impress you. That's life.

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:01 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Explain more. I don't really understand what you are talking about in your first paragraph.

And let me guess last time. Last time, I promise. Does your name starts from "R"? :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:13 

It's not R. You can try more, it's funny. Interesting if you get to the correct one :)
About the first paragraph. I'm just saying that X can identify a person Y by talking over the internet with Y without seeing and hearing Y. Just by the style of thinking Y has, provided, of course, X knows Y in reality. I tried to avoid such identification. And successfully. But I don't think I had to recourse to such strong countermeasures :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:17 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Damn, now I'm really curious about who you are! How can that be that I forgot you, but at the same time, you remembered me so well, that was looking for me on the internet on purpose?
Something about the information you gave me isn't true. It must be!

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:27 

Actually it's strange. It's really amusing you completely burnt me from your wires/ You read a lot, you remember things. I'm not a macho but nevertheless :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:32 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I don't think I burnt you out. I think that something in the information you gave me confuses me. I don't remember knowing any scientists that make researches on things you did. Only one. But I would never forget him because he is my dear friend that I love very much.

How many times we met in real life?

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:42 

Ok, it depends on what you call 'scientist'. If it's the Head of CERN then I'm not. But a young, starting one - yes.
Btw, do you like scientists? :)

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:43 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, I like the way they think, i guess. And I do like a scientist, like i said few minutes ago.
But you didn't answer my question again. How many times we met in real life?

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:51 

Scientists may have their lives a little fucked up due to uncommon life style, sacrificing some 20 years for study with fuzzy economical perspectives. That may differentiate them.
One time was enough.

URL
2011-09-16 в 22:53 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
So we met only once?
It was enough for what?

URL
2011-09-16 в 23:03 

It was enough to impress you negatively. That's my subjective evaluation.

URL
2011-09-16 в 23:04 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
What did you do?
How do you think you impressed me negatively?

URL
2011-09-16 в 23:12 

We talked, at the end I looked at you. It was clear. How? Million things, you should not like everyone. Pheromones, I know. I believe in the first glance.

URL
2011-09-16 в 23:15 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
And I said that I don't want to see you any more? I can't believe this! I usually don't tell things like that to people. Only once, but that guy just didn't understood any clues. And he continued to call even after I asked him to get out of my life.
Anyway, it's very hard for me to believe that I told you such thing. Maybe I was in some kind of relationship with someone then?

URL
2011-09-16 в 23:27 

No, you didn't call and didn't answer after our short meeting. I knew it! Good! You proved this. Then, should confess, I had been a little annoying before you wanted to stop me.

URL
2011-09-16 в 23:50 

Is the game over? :)

URL
2011-09-17 в 08:30 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
No, I just had to leave for a night shift.
Damn, I still can't remember you. But that's not surprising - I've been on so many short meetings and dates in my life.
Probably, I will not remember you even if you will tell me your name or when was it.
It's very rare that I like someone. But I like you here. And I'm impressed that you liked me that much so you bothered to look for me on the internet on purpose.
So, maybe we should acquaint again here?

URL
2011-09-17 в 09:15 

Did you read "Flowers for Algernon"?

URL
2011-09-17 в 11:59 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes, I did.
(is that you changing a subject?)

URL
2011-09-17 в 12:27 

No, I'm in the same subject ;)
When did you read it?

URL
2011-09-17 в 14:13 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Few month ago. I was looking for that book for quite a while- it had really good comments on the internet. And found it in some book store by accident.
Why?

URL
2011-09-17 в 14:46 

When we met you hadn't read it.

URL
2011-09-17 в 14:48 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
When was it?

URL
2011-09-17 в 14:53 

Several months ago.

URL
2011-09-17 в 14:58 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Damn, I just don't remember. I've been on soooo many dates last 6 month. Where did we meet?

URL
2011-09-17 в 15:03 

I don't know if I want you to remember me. Anyway I don't think you'll want to meet for a chess game :)

URL
2011-09-17 в 15:06 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I know that you are giving me clues - the book, the chess.... But you are giving me clues about me! I could tell anyone about those things. Give me some info about you :)
What did we do during the meeting?

URL
2011-09-17 в 15:19 

For the sake of truth, it's exceptionally interesting to contemplate how the worlds are different. All is so subjective, but mind is usual to reflect its own sensations on others. One of my school friends with whom I went to my school on bus during a year absolutely forgot me. On the contrary, I clearly remember not only him but the topics on chemistry he explained me as a means to prepare himself for the exams (you know proverb, "teach till you understand yourself :) ).

I'm going to the fitness club right now, talk you later ;)

URL
2011-09-17 в 15:27 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes, that's how I like to study - giving lectures to people around until it all makes perfect sense to myself and I remember anything.
But you left on the most interesting place! Without answering my question.
Don't be afraid - I really like you. I will not stop talking to you even if I'll remember you. Everything could be on that date with you: maybe I was in the awful mood, maybe that date was my try to escape bad thoughts, maybe at these days I was obsessed with some other guy, maybe that was exactly the time that I left the guy I loved so much, so no wonder that I didn't like 99.99% of guys around. Everything is possible.

URL
2011-09-17 в 20:41 

We went to the coffee bar near your home. You ordered American waffle. Then we walked. You told me of your family. I told my story. At some moment you started to hurry leaving me behind. Then we took a taxi and returned. I wanted to pay but you did not let. At stairs of your home I observed you. You know how you looked? I have recently been at many work interviews. Usually I start describing myself in general, education, projects etc. Then I get my laptop off the case, start my programs, show how they work, interface, what their purpose, etc. I do it from my heart. Then they (employers) describe what my job will be and finally they say my salary. Most of times when I hear the sum I look as you looked then :) I think so. Frustrated. "Why the hell I've been dancing here for an hour, explained them all that stuff, tried to impress them? For this pitiful salary?!" I usually don't say in the place that I reject the work. I mumble "Yes, very good good job, I think it's very suitable for me. I'll call you tomorrow". You looked like that. You hurried and tried to run away. And said you'd call. The salary was obviously unsatisfying you :)
But you're right you could be just tired.

URL
2011-09-17 в 21:13 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I remember you :)

Then you sent me drunk sms' and I was mad cos you woke me up 3 times during that period that I had a sleeping problems.

I'm sorry. What I didn't tell you then that at this time I was leaving the one I love. That's it. When I think about it now, everyone would frustrate me then, no one would be the "right salary" as you say. It was awful period of my life. I don't remember it very well, it was too stressful and depressing so no wonder I didn't remember you. I just tried to move on and survive, so I tried many things, including dating. Sorry, that you had the lack of luck to be the one who was there then.

How did you find me here?

URL
2011-09-17 в 21:50 

Hi, Vika, how are you? :)

As you guessed, your birds.

URL
2011-09-17 в 22:01 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Hi :)
Don't be mad - I forgot your name. You can tell it now, right? :)

URL
2011-09-17 в 22:07 

It's against my rules to write my name on wilderness of the Internet, especially after such story-telling.... But I'll make an exception for you.
I'm Vova nice to meet again :)

URL
2011-09-17 в 22:11 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes, I remember it started from V, but nothing except Vanya didn't come to my mind.
It's amazing how I don't remember anything about you. Barely remember how you look even.

URL
2011-09-17 в 22:18 

"V for Vendetta" is a movie with Portman. V wore a mask and never opened his face.

URL
2011-09-17 в 22:36 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Never saw this movie. I guess, lately, I saw too many movies that no one really watching :)

Well, I studied all day long, I deserve to go out to my favorite place tonight, I think.

URL
2011-09-17 в 22:47 

Ya, good bye.

URL
2011-09-18 в 12:47 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Why do I have a feeling that you were offended by me leaving yesterday? You shouldn't.

Anyway, I had really nice evening with friends in my favorite pub. We even danced tango there, that was really weird.

What did you do yesterday?

URL
2011-09-19 в 10:52 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
What's wrong? Now that I know who you are, you prefer to disappear?

URL
2011-09-19 в 12:06 

"There is a harmony in the bending back as in the case of the bow and the lyre."
Heraclitus
:)

URL
2011-09-19 в 12:26 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
What is that suppose to mean?

URL
2011-09-19 в 12:47 

You're too interesting to merely leave you.
First, i'm glad for you that you know how to combine work, study and rest. It's great self-control.
Second, I have a question. What do you love in dancing most of all? For example, knowing how to coordinate your movements; physical activity; interaction with partner; loving to be looked at; etc.

About my yesterday. It's usually approximately as my today. Though, the "yesterday" you asked about was a little different because I was preparing to some exam that went really bad yesterday. I didn't think I was so nervous but after the exam it was clear. I just fell asleep for 12 hours and all my memories of the exam are now very smoky, self-protection I think.

Regarding being offended. I don't know. My thought was something like "Friends? Really, why not?". It was with grief sarcasm, of course. I know, it's childishly stupid.

URL
2011-09-19 в 12:54 

It means what it says. There is a harmony. When you draw the string of the bow, the arc is deformed as counteraction. The saying is just a parallel that stroke my mind when you said "Now I know you, and you disappeared". The string and the bow in harmony. Well, just fuzzy thinking :)

URL
2011-09-19 в 13:30 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, I actually don't know how to combine work, studies and rest. I just have no choice - I got work that I have to do and lectures that I have to go to. The problematic time is in between: when I have to study at home. THEN I find 1000 things to do. I don't use my free time effectively. And I'm paying for it now: 2 days till the exam, lot's of things that are still not in my memory, so I have to study really really hard (which makes the remembering less effective) and hope that I'll pass the exam.

In dancing I like the most when the dance goes smooth. I mean, when it goes right: partner leads me to do something and I'm doing it right. It's the right cooperation, I guess, what I like the most.
When I know that people are looking at me I'm too busy with "how" to do it right, and that's when I'm making most of the mistakes. I noticed that the dance goes the best when I'm not concentrating on "how" to do it, but just doing things automatically. Sometimes on milongas I suddenly noticing that last 5 minutes I was dreaming or thinking about something, while my body was reacting correctly to the leading. That is so amazing, by the way. When I didn't dance for a year and came back actually not remembering anything, I found out that the muscle memory remained: the body was going correctly by itself, without consciousness being involved.
Anyway, 2 days ago when we were dancing in the pub, it was very hard at the beginning - I remembered that people are watching and made few really bad mistakes. Then I just concentrated on the partner's leading and stopped thinking about people around (alcohol makes it really easy to do), so the rest of the dance went perfectly smooth without any mistakes at all.
And, of course, I like that intimate feeling of hugging and interaction with another person. I feel it less with people that I barely know, but if it's someone close, it is sooooo nice!
Hey, listen, you can try it yourself! Today my teacher starts a new group of total beginners. 20:00 at Tveria 15 (the place called Matnas Hadar and its just few meter from the end of Masada street).

12 hours of sleep... wow! I usually sleep for 5-6 and even less (don't have time for more). But today I had 9 and that's sooo good.

URL
2011-09-19 в 14:14 

Usually I hate to sleep more than 6 hours. It's overly for me, insomnia is guaranteed. The best is when you fall asleep exhausted and then morning, provided you feel renewed, the difference in states is very prominent, i feel euphoric just pondering it. Like now, hehe :)

Thanks for the offer. I don't think I have enough determination to perform such unsuitable (for me) activity. It's too many people and too close interaction as you've noticed yourself. May be you know some worth place where they teach how to draw?

What are these 1000 things?

URL
2011-09-19 в 14:19 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Too bad. Tango really helps people to get out of the shell and to feel more confident about themselves.
About drawing lessons - have no idea.

1000- things may be anything just not to study. Internet, friends, books, eating, washing dishes, shopping for food, parrots. Anything.

URL
2011-09-19 в 14:37 

I understand.

I like to study because it distracts your attention from other things. But sometimes it starts to be boring. Then I don't know what to do. And under time pressure any study seems to be boring, you just try to slough it as dead skin.

URL
2011-09-19 в 19:54 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
What are "the other things" you need to distract you attention from?

URL
2011-09-19 в 20:14 

Washing dishes, shopping for food, parrots, cars, girls, bars, etc.
It's something like that, from an essay on autistic man
“I prefer I move to the apartment,” he would say, reluctantly setting aside the notebook he spent hours filling with tiny, precise replicas of every known animated character.
Education as a ultimate goal, education for education.

URL
2011-09-19 в 20:39 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I understood absolutely nothing.

URL
2011-09-19 в 20:59 

:) I'm bad story-teller.

You asked "What are the other things?". I answered: "Washing dishes, shopping for food, parrots, cars, girls, bars, etc."

Initially, I said "I study to distract my attention from other things". It's reminds a behavior of an autistic person who performs repetitive actions without final goal. To "prove" this, I cited a sentence from an essay I've recently read on autistic guy "..he spent hours filling with tiny, precise replicas of every known animated character".

URL
2011-09-19 в 21:07 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Why would you distract yourself from parrots? And bars? You go to bars?

Education for education. And then what?

URL
2011-09-19 в 21:29 

Then. Till the end of times, www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cd8ZZUZAhPo ;)

No, I usually don't go to bars. I go to do some sport. Including this very moment :) Talk later.

URL
2011-09-20 в 01:57 

Ok, I'm back.
I want to ask you the same question: what "then" is for you? You'll pass all your exams. Then?

URL
2011-09-20 в 10:08 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Then I'll find another job in another hospital. And I hope it will be more interesting. You see, I don't study for the sake of studying (although I'm learning exactly the area I wanted the most). Studies and work aren't the main thing in my life. It's just something that suppose to make my life better, more comfortable, less stressful, I guess. I want to enjoy my job, so I'm trying to get the one that will interest me, this way I'll suffer less while getting the money I need for living.

URL
2011-09-20 в 15:17 

Yes, I see. Very balanced approach. And how do you see yourself in three/five years? What's your goals?

URL
2011-09-20 в 16:04 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Sorry, this is a very hard question. For some reason, thinking about it makes me depressed. So let's not talk about it.

URL
2011-09-20 в 19:05 

Of course. Don't hesitate to tell me if you ever want.

I wanted to thank you for Baraka. It's one of the best movies I've seen. Best ever representation of human ant hive, Zooyork conception shown exceptionally tangible.

URL
2011-09-20 в 20:30 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You are welcome :)
Don't know any other movies like that.
But I can show you some other good ones that I love if you want.

URL
2011-09-20 в 21:07 

Of course I want, I'm here to learn from you. Maybe more :)
Did you see "Girl, interrupted"? Not bad movie.

URL
2011-09-22 в 00:46 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Sorry, was studying and working all day, just came back home.

I guess I saw that movie long time ago, now, when I saw the trailer, I remember. It was not bad.

My suggestion for today: "Head on" of a really great "German" director Fatih Akin (he is actually Turkish). You may find it by German name "Gegen die Wand". My personal favorite.

URL
2011-09-22 в 01:24 

So i understood. When do you have the exam?

I'll the movie.

URL
2011-09-22 в 01:25 

Oops, i'll get the movie :)

URL
2011-09-22 в 01:34 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I had it today, hope I didn't failed. Will know tomorrow probably.

URL
2011-09-22 в 01:34 

American questions?

URL
2011-09-22 в 11:47 

I watched the movie. Very good done, it creates a feeling in me as if it were documentary. And good-looking actress :)
Do you find some similarity between you and Sibel?

URL
2011-09-22 в 14:35 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
yes, american questions, as always. But it's good.

It's funny, my mom found some similarity between me and Sibel. But I don't really think that I'm that strong and that brave. I respect how she sets the goal and goes for it.

Try "I'm Juli" by the same director - also great one.

... and if you like the way the movie was filmed (that made you feel like it's a documentary), and if, by any chance, you like Bjork, you should try "Dancer in the dark" by Lars von Trier. Or my personal huge huge huge favorite of him "Antichrist".

URL
2011-09-22 в 17:20 

Got the grade?

Yes, I saw "Dancer in the dark". I remember Bjork's first song I heard that ignited the prolonging love, it's "Human behavior". And www.youtube.com/watch?v=Th7QmZiz6Lc&feature=rel... is probably my favourate. Because I've known her so many years, every time I listen to her my memories float out from depth of time, sometimes a particular detail of long ago forgotten event suddenly appears so clearly. She's great.

I trust your taste, I'll see them all.

Do you agree with your mom?

URL
2011-09-23 в 00:19 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I got 86 :)

Like I said, I disagree with my mom. Sibel is much stronger and braver.

URL
2011-09-23 в 01:18 

Not bad. What's the average of the course, do you know? I remember, we took all the grades and calculated how many standard deviations you stood above or below the average to evaluate how really ypu were good or bad.. Do you practice such chiromancy? :) What's the subject by the way?

In what her strongness and brevity are shown in your opinion?

URL
2011-09-23 в 16:40 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
It's easy - she is ready to get married with first guy she meets and live the life she always wanted, outside of her family, with no one to help her.

Have no idea what's the average of the course - I saw my mark on the internet.
It had many subjects. Mostly neurology, nephrology and endocrinology, and lots of small subjects.

URL
2011-09-23 в 19:11 

I would doubt rationality of her brevity that led to the rape and being almost killed. Actually, it's pursuit for short path to pleasures that may cost high.

What's course name?

URL
2011-09-23 в 21:07 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You have to be strong to be able to pick that short path.

The course is emergency medicine.

URL
2011-09-23 в 22:16 

The basic principle of any chess opening is steady and consequential development. If you suddenly decide to enter the queen into the game at very start, you'll probably lose. I think patience reflects strongness more than unnecessary rush. Though, of course, necessity is subjective for a person.

URL
2011-09-24 в 16:16 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I think patience can be a weakness. To be patient and wait instead of actually doing something. Or to be patient because you afraid to act.

I had 3 nightmare days with work and studies and no life at all. So good to just be at home without running anywhere.

URL
2011-09-24 в 19:13 

I see patience is not encouraged in emergency medicine :) But you are right, waiting too long may miss opportunities. Balance is needed, as usually. And the girl doesn't have it, imho.
I'v been always surprised by people like you who are multitasking: work, learn on-fly and get nice grades. Gongrats for your exam! :)
So what will you do to rest?

URL
2011-09-24 в 19:19 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Well, I washed some dishes and cleaned some mess in the house while listening to Vivaldi (somehow classical music calms me down). Let birds out of the cage - they've been there for too long.
Reading an interesting book: www.danielkeyesauthor.com/milligan.html

Wanted to go out at the evening with somebody, but some are busy and the others... well, don't feel like seeing them today.
So I guess I'll stay home with birds, book, music and some movies maybe. Have to go to bed early today - tomorrow there's a first day of emergency room practice.

And what are you doing today?

URL
2011-09-24 в 19:50 

From the morning (11:00) till some 15:00 i surveyed literature on some interesting idea I have in my project on proteins. Then I went to sport for three hours, then I returned and right now I'm eating. Then I have to think what I'll do :) Probably, I'll continue to write one of my projects. And messaging with you, I guess :)

URL
2011-09-24 в 19:55 

Vivaldi is good, Winter is my favourate. I love baroko generally.

URL
2011-09-24 в 20:03 

By the way, one of the amazing things I've seen:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1VVFu8GQyWw

It's unbelievable, nothing lost to organ!

URL
2011-09-24 в 20:11 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
My favorite is "summer". Even in classical music I like energetic and fast things. I call them "heavy classics" :) Too quiet and slow ones are too boring.

URL
2011-09-24 в 20:22 

I'm not very much into classics, I love barokko and what was its predecessors, chants and medieval. That's from childhood, I loved to read books on alchemistry, ancient scientists and discoveries. So music should be from their period, too :) I have predisposition that Mozart is just a Pop, though I liked Requiem sometimes.

URL
2011-09-24 в 20:24 

I took a course on History of Western Art music. It's was very pleasant to visit lessons at start, exactly when my loved periods were taught, but classics was annoying :)

URL
2011-09-25 в 00:01 

Good like on your practice tomorrow.

URL
2011-09-26 в 07:05 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I don't know as much as you do about classics. I'm just trying to listen to it a little bit and remember some things I liked.

... second day in emergency room today...

URL
2011-09-26 в 14:30 

How was it?

URL
2011-09-27 в 17:46 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Don't know yet. It's a huge mess, I have to be there longer to really understand what is going on.

What's new? :)

URL
2011-09-27 в 19:27 

"No river can return to its source, yet all rivers must have a beginning." :)

Nothing new. For example, yesterday, I was heading for my yet another job interview and as usual troubles embraced me: first I was late because I missed a correct turn and got into a very heavy traffic; when I finally was able to get to the correct direction, what do you think happened? My auto's clutch cable tore! Thus, instead of interview I was sitting two hours waiting for the car transporter to take me to the garage. That's really not a new thing, it always happens something like that when I go to get a work. Definitely havens are against :)

URL
2011-09-28 в 22:27 

I think "Let the right one in" maybe interesting for you if you didn't see it.

URL
2011-09-29 в 19:46 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I'm glad I don't have a car :)

I'll watch it.

Sorry, for disappearing - having busy days.
But today I have a free evening, and going to my favorite pub to watch my tango partner's magic show. Never saw him on stage or something, although I saw all his magic tricks and know how he does part of them. Gonna be a very very good evening and night I guess. \
And at Saturday we are going to dance tango right there - in Rodeo pub! That is going to be amazing I think - favorite dance in favorite place. What can be better!? :)

URL
2011-09-29 в 22:55 

Hi!
I've been back right now from a journey to Montfort Castle near Naharia. Incomparable to dancing, but not bad at all :)

Antichrist is a good thriller, but I didn't catch its intended message. If it's "Women are evil" then I don't accept. Probably because I don't know them well ;)

URL
2011-09-30 в 14:13 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I'm not sure about "women are evil" message, but you can read about it here:

ru-von-trier.livejournal.com/46668.html

and here:

goodween.livejournal.com/821755.html

URL
2011-10-01 в 23:01 

Ok, so what do you think the movie's message is? I adhere to the simplest interpretation: she read the book, got irrational idea that her mission was to be a contemporary witch and started to practice. She put the shoes wrong way to hurt her child; she allowed him fall out of the window. This helped her to get to the edge: that was her aim. All that followed is a smooth continuation of her illness.I would even say it's Freud's "death instinct" that led her; she burnt all bridges one after another (shoes, open window, capturing her husband, clteroctomy). The only purpose of that was her own death. "Todestrieb" is movie's message. That's my opinion.

"Revolutionary road", did you see it?

URL
2011-10-01 в 23:03 

How was in Rodeo? :)

URL
2011-10-02 в 15:32 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
It was great as always :)

URL
2011-10-02 в 17:44 

you're not very talkative. are you bored with this conversation?

URL
2011-10-02 в 19:11 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
No, not at all! I was running out in the hurry, so didn't have time to answer really. Last week had really crazy schedule.
It's just I really forgot what the movie message is in my opinion :) I think it is amazing how it is done: the way it shows the madness. I just stopped existing while watching it, it just dragging you there, into this crazy atmosphere. I was so impressed that I kept thinking about it for a week or so after watching it. I'm not sure if there's really a message there. It's just a very good movie dedicated to another great director, continuing the main thoughts of Tarkovsky movies. I think I should watch some of his movies to understand more.

And about Rodeo: yesterday was really amazing. We danced tango in front of everyone, which made me nervous, but at the same time, the dance felt differently. I definitely want to do it again some day, so I'm glad the the place's owners also liked it and want us to make another tango night in a future.

URL
2011-10-03 в 02:08 

Oh, it's ok.
Me agree absolutely, no need to seek messages, although it maybe tempting to speculate on movie meanings. It's enough to enjoy the atmosphere, action, actors, of course.
I know only two Tarkowsky's works, Solaris and Stalker. Solaris is one of my most loved movie and its music score written by Eduard Artem'ev who is russian electronic music godfather.

I see dancing is your main interest now, isn't it? It's like tree trunk to which all branched of your life attached, no?

I want to ask you somthin. What do you think if we transfer our communication to some private "place"? Skype, gmail, icq?

URL
2011-10-03 в 13:16 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
You will be disappointed with me in skype etc, because there will be no normal conversation since I'm always on the run. I like more the way things are now: we answer when we got time and continue with everyday life without sticking to the comp for hours.
I really doubt that someone here is bored enough to come into this post and read all these english letters.

I wouldn't say that tango is the main interest for me now. But one of the most important ones, for sure. It helps me to relax. My way to get some joy in those busy and nervous days. Physical contact with people feels really nice. Hugging and "physical talk" during the dance make me really good. Especially if the guy talks (leads) well. Then even the age doesn't matter. And, I must admit, I really really like my tango partner, even though he is not a very good dancer yet. I love when he is with me on the lessons or milongas.

URL
2011-10-03 в 18:44 

As you want.

So what's your main interest now?

URL
2011-10-03 в 20:49 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
I wouldn't call it main interest really. I'm just trying to find balance between things that I have to do and things that I love. So I will not go crazy with studies and work 7 days a week. These days I mostly enjoy spending time with close people, that's it.

URL
2011-10-04 в 02:28 

As I understand you are now busy more than usual. Why? Because of practice in emergency?

URL
2011-10-05 в 20:53 

Queen_of_the_damned
Ты можешь верить хоть в камни- до тех пор, пока ты не бросаешь ими в меня.
Yes. It's the practice and some other things that are making me busy these days.
Not spending too much time with the comp lately.

URL
2011-10-06 в 00:31 

i noticed :)

URL
   

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